I have been married for 11 years now.
My brother has been married for over 15 years.
My parents have been married for over 50 years and my in laws will be celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary this year.
Today I heard about “Divorce Parties“. A big lavish party celebrating divorce. A celebration of a marriage that went sour. Drinking and eating after signing a lot of papers.
Believe it or not, I agree with these parties.
I do not think people should stay together if they are not happy. I do not think a woman should be with a man who hits her and a man should not be with a woman who cheats on him. I think that it is easy to say that marriage is a life long commitment but much harder to accomplish if things are not going right. I am not saying that divorce should be the first option…
But there are reasons to break up.
Sure, you can say that maybe people should not have married in the first place. Well, guess what?
So many people stay in loveless marriages because of kids. Kids make it tricky but I never understood why someone should be miserable and see their kids miserable because of marriage. It is not fair to anyone. Kids resent marriage and spouses resent each other.Which could also lead to parents resenting kids.
Divorce does not make people a failure. It happens for so many reasons. Think about yourself 20 years ago. Think about yourself now. You changed. If you are not willing to change with your loved one, then you should care about them enough to let them find someone who will appreciate them.
But honestly, people lie. People cheat and people hide a lot of skeletons in their closet. Marriage is not for everyone. Everyone loves the idea. People think it will solve issues but the reality of it is much different.
I heard a comedian talk about marriage. He was saying that if marriage was a car, you would never buy it. It is hard to maintain, it gets better in time, and it can suck.
Marriage for me is like a kite. It is hard to get in the air, the string is tangled, you have to have the perfect wind and it fails numerous times staying in the sky.
Once it is up there, it looks cool. It is a good feeling that all the work made this piece of plastic fly. Sure it is boring, but you cannot stop looking at it.
That is my marriage, not the other ones I am not involved in. Divorce is better than being miserable. There are plenty of great people with divorced parents. It happens.
And nothing wrong with throwing a party…
He probably should not have lied to you during your marriage anyway.