A couple of months ago Doylin Richards wrote a post that went viral. He was brushing his daughter’s hair and because he did not think his wife would believe him, he snapped a picture. He posted it on his Facebook page and it became an instant hit.
With that he received both positive and negative feedback. He wrote a real thought provoking post, which he said…
“I have a dream that people will view a picture like this and not think it’s such a big deal.”
Then a couple of days ago Lisa wrote a post that was popular as well. She taught her husband how to put their daughter’s hair in a bun. She needed this for ballet. So while at Starbucks he did this and got a standing ovation.
Sidenote- That is one awesome bun!
Now, although the post is a humorous post (I highly doubt she was truly mad at her husband) it once again asked the question why do we celebrate dads doing things that moms do all the time? Why do we make such a big deal of things that moms have done for a long time with very little credit?
I will tell you my take.
One of the biggest issues we have is what I call the “dumb debate”. The “dumb debate” is where people try to question the SAHM/D (Stay At Home Mom/Dad) and ask if it is a “real job”. Where people ask “what did you do all day?” to their spouses after taking care of their kids.
If you truly feel that taking care of your kids does not take hard work and dedication, then you are not very smart. I cannot say it any other way. If you feel that it is not as rewarding or as difficult as a “job” then you are not very smart.
Because of this debate, it diminishes what moms truly do. That is 90% of the problem.
Because the “dumb debate” diminishes what moms do, we are shocked when dad’s “parent”. We think they can take care of their kids and yet they still have a “job”.
Um, no. That is not fair to every mom out there. Going to work and parenting are not comparable.
I 100% agree that moms do not get enough credit. One Sunday in May every year is not enough appreciation.
But I do feel that Doylin and Lisa are not fair in their fights. To do your daughter’s hair is a big and honorable task.
Here is why…
I do not have hair. I do not understand hair. I am bad with hair. I am amazed at people who can do hair.
For most brushing your hair is easy. Maybe you have done it all of your life. I have not. I have been bald since I was 22 years old and before that I would either wear a hat or shave my head.
I tried to brush my son’s hair. He screamed. My wife showed me how to do it and he said he liked mommy doing it better.
We have a daughter. She is six months old. My wife has shown me over 20 times how to put a bow on her head. Every time I do it she ends up looking like Rambo. My wife say I need to figure it out. I have not.
As a dad things that are easy for all are not for me. I am the reason my daughter has “blowouts” (Where there is a leak in the diaper). My wife always tells me “ruffles out” but I forget. I hold my daughter like a football sometimes instead of close. Her socks always come off and I can never find them. I always give her the wrong “binky” so she spits it at me. She is only six months old.
I am so scared of doing her hair.
My son does not care as much if I know how to do his hair. He does tell me that mommy reads stories better than I do. He does tell me that mommy makes a better dinner. He does tell me that mommy picks out clothes better than I do…
Then he tells me that I am his best friend.
A picture says a lot. To the parents who do you kid’s hair…I salute you. Actually to all the good parents out there…I salute you. Because we make this into a Mom/Dad debate when it should be a respect for all parents.
My wife works 60 hours a week. She also stays home with the kids. She also is my son’s room mom and she plans every birthday and celebration. It is not something that “moms” have to do…
It is something that good parents want to do. There are a lot of good parents out there.
And I appreciate it. My kids appreciate it as well.
I also feel that if we compliment a dad for doing hair or a mom for teaching her son how to play football, we should not feel bad about it. Nothing in this world is “expected” and it is condescending to think so. We are not limited to the amount of likes, shares and compliments we can do each day. We can appreciate the dad with who did the “bun” at Starbucks as much as the mom for teaching her husband how to do it.
What is simple for some is not simple for others.
All good parents should be acknowledged. Dads and moms.
And pictures say more than you think.