whitney-houston-dead-at-48“I believe the children are our are future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside”

I have good parents. Growing up they really supported every crazy idea that I had. I also know they have nothing to do with me being obese. We always had fruits and vegetables in the house. They never forced me to eat a certain way. They bought me all the books about dieting I wanted. I knew more about food at 15 than most people do now. But they had no idea how much food I ate. They did not know I would use my money for food outside of the house. It never caught up to me until I was older.

“Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be”

I love the fact that 14 year old Julia Bluhm started a petition to feature more untouched pictures in Seventeen magazine. When I hear people say “Why is that such a big deal” I always think about the person who lost a lot of weight and still hates themselves because they do not look like the picture. The person who thinks that truly is what “beautiful” is. The sad part about it why does a 14 year old have to start the petition? Why could the editors of the magazine just do it. Maybe it seems like common sense for someone who has been overweight for so long.

“Everybody searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me”

I have had so many inspirations but none of them had to do with weight loss. They were people who went through odds to make their dreams come true. People no one believed in to overcome adversity. Weight loss has been a task I have done for thirty plus years.

[Chorus]
“I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone’s shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I’ll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can’t take away my dignity”

Dignity……..

My Dignity……

LOS ANGELES – Relatives of late pop icon Whitney Houston have reportedly been told by coroner officials that the singer died from what appears to be a combination of Xanax and other prescription drugs mixed with alcohol rather than drowning.

When I heard that Whitney Houston died February 11th, 2012 I had a weird feeling in my stomach. For some reason I thought in my mind it was a drug overdose. Actually, I knew it. I knew she was an addict. A woman with an incredible talent and an addiction.

So many people said “What a waste of a talent!” That is not fair.

I just know the power of addiction.

I am a food addict. I know this because I can eat and not get sick. I can be set off by the smallest things in my life and I can tell myself tomorrow is a new day. Addicts love tomorrow. It is their favorite day.

But I refuse to let it run my life. I remember having a real pretty friend who was in a abusive relationship. It killed me on the inside and I would tell her all the time to leave. She did not because she did not feel she could do better. I have not spoken to her in years, but I hope she did leave. Because everyone can do better.

I live a certain way now. I have to. I do not need spandex women and weight loss geniuses telling me otherwise. Forget the fact that I have lost a lot of weight, I know that I deserve more in life than struggling to wipe my ass in a handicap stall.

We all do. Many people who read my blog think they are far gone. They are surgery bound or even death bound.

I have a food addiction and I was over 400 pounds. No one is that far gone.

Not even with weight loss but with other things as well. No one deserves to be in a relationship that is horrible. No one deserves to be at a job they hate. It takes work to make life better, but isn’t it worth it?

People ask me how I lost weight and that is not the thing you should ask. It should be why? Why did I decide to do it after failing for over 30 years? Why did I not get surgery when I could have had it paid for? Why did I not sign up for a system that I could have made money off of?

Because at the end of the day I had to figure out myself. And I refuse to be found at 3am dead in my car by a Taco Bell employee because I had a heart attack.

I refuse to let my addiction run my life.

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