Dear Miley,

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Ummm….well, let us do this another way…

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Dear Hannah Montana,

I have so many questions to ask you, but I must ask this one…

I must know…how it is possible that on the show Hannah Montana, no one could figure out that Miley Stewart was actually Hannah Montana?

I mean, all you did was wear a blonde wig. Yet no one at the school could figure it out. No ne of your friends could figure it out. Even you boyfriend on the show could figure it out!!!!

Now, you might be wondering why a man in his thirties watched Hannah Montana.

Well, that is a good question.

See, my son watches Disney Junior. He loves a show called Secret Agent Oso. It is about a bear that does goes on missions like making sandwiches and brushing his teeth, all in three steps. And he likes that Handy Manny, the one voiced by that guy from “The 70’s Show”. I know this because I watch them all the time. I mean, with my son of course!

Anyway, when my son would nap a couple of years back I would sit on the couch. For some reason Disney Junior would be over and some of the other shows would come on. The one with Selena Gomez where she was a witch, some show with Demi Lovato, and then Hannah Montana.

You would think I would change the channel to ESPN but I get lazy sometimes. So I would watch regular Disney. I do this with Nickelodeon as well.

Kind of like when I DVR a television show and I still watch the commercials until I realize I can fast forward. And that happens after the show is over.

But the fact that no one realized you were Hannah Montana always bothered me. Just like on “Saved by the Bell” how the school had like 10 students yet they had a football team. How is that possible? And wasn’t it weird that everyone actually dated everyone on the show except Screech. Well, didn’t he date Violet, that Tori Spelling character?

But I think Screech made a sex tape. It just goes to show that for every Kim Kardashian sex tape that makes you famous, there is a Screech sex tape that people want to forget.

Anyway, my main point of all of this is not for you. It is to tell Sinead O’Connor to cool it with the open letters. Did she write a letter to Madonna when she was outrageous? Or Janet Jackson?Were people really worried about Sinead after the SNL appearance?

No.

No one truly cares what you do Miley/Hannah. There are few kids that are coming home to their parents and saying “Mom! I must twerk and lick hammers. Miley is doing it, so I must!”

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I have licked a hammer before. It is not anything worth doing again.

No one is worried about your future or the future of the music industry. In fifty years people will be saying that music is not like it used to be when Miley Cyrus was around.

Music is music. Everyone says music is not like it was when The Who and The Beatles were around. Yeah, they also forget about Disco music then or “Kung Fu Fighting” or the hundreds of other horrible songs in the 60’s and 70’s. They feel that the only artists around were Elton John and Billy Joel.

But people want attention. Sinead really wants it now. So they write an open letter using a famous person’s name. It is on the top of a Google search. Honestly, if you Google your name and Sinead’s, this post will pop up. And WOWOW!!!! I will not get 200 hits!

Sinead is very condescending. Do you think Sinead cares about you? If she did, it would be a private message, not one on her blog for people to say “Oh my, what a beautiful post!” FIVE TIMES!!!

So keep on keeping on. And Wrecking Ball is a hot jam!

Sincerely,

Tony Posnanski

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