I did not really understand why we had to do it. For some reason, my wife and I had to meet with a counselor before we got married to make sure we wanted to go through with it. My wife said it was common, but I thought it was weird. In fact, I felt like I have done enough to prove that I wanted to be with my wife for the rest of my life, which included….
1. I moved to Buffalo (Seven feet of snow) from Charlotte (Beautiful Weather).
2. Refer to number one.
So we went. We were in this beautiful office and the counselor came out. He was nice and was joking with us a little. He asked us questions like how we met, what type of work we did, etc.
Then all of the sudden, he looked at my then fiance and asked what was one thing she did not like about me. This was in 2003. Remember, I was over 350 pounds at the time.
Without hesitation, my wife looked at the counselor and said “Tony works all the time! I love that he is dedicated, but man, what a workaholic.”
The counselors face dropped. His smile went away. He got up from his table and went to the window. He pushed the blinds with a couple of fingers and started to look outside. The he started to talk….
“Oh Rebecca. It is so funny how you and so many people throw around the word “workaholic”. I guarantee you that Tony is not a workaholic. In fact, I bet you have no idea what a workaholic is.”
My wife looked over at me and I was looking down. I am not going to lie; I was trying hard not to laugh. I mean, who gets mad about the term workaholic.
Yet, his monologue kept going……
“I am a workaholic. I can not stop working at times. My wife and I fought because of my working ways. I did not even know who my son is. He is 17 now, and I did not get to see him grow up. In fact, I have to set an alarm clock just to go home. I do not do this for money. I do not do this for fame. I do this because I am a workaholic!”
I realized at that moment that I was not a workaholic. I actually did think I was one. I have worked over 50 hours a week since I was 17 years old. I once got written up for working on my days off. I would stay at work until 3am sometimes just to learn new procedures. Trust me, I was no workaholic.
We thought he was done, but he was not. He quickly pointed at my wife and yelled….
“SO YOU NEED TO REALLY BE CAREFUL WHO YOU CALL A WORKAHOLIC!”
Before my wife went into tears, I said…
“No sir. You are right. I am no workaholic. In fact, I think I am going to quit my job today! I do not feel like working anymore!”
After that crazy outburst, we left. My wife and I were in the car. She was still almost in tears. So I leaned over to her and said…
“You know, next time someone asks you what you do not like about me, you might want to consider the fact that I am the size of a baby hippo and I eat like one as well.”
My wife would never say that….
In fact, she never even thought of that. As long as I have known her, she never said anything negative about my weight. She wanted me to be healthy, but never called me names. She never threatened me to lose weight. She always saw the beauty and the talent I could not.
We have been through a lot. She has seen me go from the 200’s to the 400’s back to the 200’s in weight. We have moved in different cities. We have had a couple homes and a few apartments. We have had good times, and bad ones.
The good outweigh the bad times.
People think that they have to let someone know that they are gaining weight, or that they are overweight. They think that it helps. To me, it does not. It never did. I know when I feel fat. I know when I eat the wrong things. I know when I do not feel like working out.
I never wanted someone to point out the obvious. I never wanted someone to tell me that I look big when I saw it in the mirror. I did not need someone asking my why I was eating something when I asked that question myself.
I needed someone to be there for me to succeed. I needed someone there to high five me when I got up.
Most people do. That is my wife.
That is why I did not need a counselor to see if we were sure about getting married. I did not need someone asking me questions about us.