I am on Facebook a lot and there seems to be a new trend. There are a lot of people posting pictures about altered pictures in magazines, about how beauty is not a size, etc. I agree with all of it. I think that altered pictures in magazines give people the wrong impression and I also think that beauty has nothing to do with size.

But I think a lot of people who post this are hypocritical. They are success stories who want to tell people how easy weight loss is after they have struggled. What is the difference? They tell you how easy weight loss is because they found success two months in their life.  They make people like me feel weak because they cannot get it right.

I am a success story who will always struggle. I am okay with that now. But people need to know the failures of a success story…….


I have seen it so many times. A skinny girl in booty shorts with a cute health blog going to the farmers market and talking about all the organic jewels she found. Someone who lost weight but found the key and now is not tempted by processed foods, etc.

I wanted to be like that girl, minus the booty shorts. See……I am a weight loss blogger. I talk about how I could not wipe my ass because there was way too much fat in the way. I talk about my struggles. I have a lot of them. Losing weight does not make struggles go away. In fact, it magnifies them.

I wanted to live a fabulous life.

So after losing a ton of weight, I was going to change. I was going to be organic. I was going to really focus on locally grown produce. I was going to be……….


So on a Saturday I was off, I decided to go to the local farmer’s market. I was excited because I heard good thing about this market. I had my iPhone ready for pictures and I wore my best hoodie.

When I got to the farmer’s market, I saw bootleg DVD’s, off brand purses, and produce that I see at any grocery store for more money. Where was the fabulousness? Where was the fun? And this was a farmer’s market, not a flea market. I know the difference.

Then I saw it. Someone was selling “Organic Kettle Corn”. Organic Kettle Corn.

I left without buying anything.

I will be honest with you. I buy all of my fruits and vegetables from Wal-Mart. I do not buy organic. I wash my fruits like everyone else. I have read all of the articles about why you should buy organic. I still do not.

I think that people abuse the term “organic”. My son has chicken nuggets that are organic. We have some Mac N’ Cheese that is organic. Organic will not help you lose weight.

I do not shop at health food stores very often. I tried because everyone else did. Every time I go there, I spent $100 and would walk out with a couple of bags. I hate their weird half carts. Every employee looks like they just read a thrilling novel.

I get fiber from fruits and vegetables. Everything now has fiber in it. They have brownies with fiber in it.

I stay away from processed foods. Not because they are evil, but because I have a hard time controlling myself around them. I am the strongest weak person you will ever meet.

To this day, I do not understand muscle confusion. I do not care to learn it. I work out then come home. The only confusion is finding my car in the parking lot.

The way I do things is really weird. I work out for a couple hours a day when people tell me twenty minutes a day, three times a week is enough. I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables so I do not have to worry so much about the amount of water I drink. I still get nervous when someone offers me a cake or a pie. I still do not believe there is an easy way to lose weight. I still weigh myself. I have tried the whole not weighing myself. I will be honest. I busted my ass to get on a scale to show a number and not “ERR”. I should enjoy it now.

I feel like such an outcast when people who have maintained weight for a while come out and become experts and gurus. How easy it is for them now. I felt like I should be like them. I should be telling you how easy it is. I would be lying to you. I think sometimes they are lying as well. I think they became the person we all hated.

Well, weight loss to me is not easy. Yet, once you find what works for you, it makes sense a little more. Making tough decision each hour pay off at the end of the day. One workout will not make you lose a ton of weight, but finding an activity that you enjoy and you can do consistently will help. Going to the gym the one day where you are too “busy” or “are just not feeling it” helps so much.

I still struggle with writing down everything and portion sizes. I am not perfect. Most of us are not.

I have not blogged in a few days. Three years ago this would have freaked me out. Not anymore. Three years ago I would be nervous you would have forgotten about me. Not anymore.

I have a very good book idea that I have been toying with. Nothing about my 200 pound loss. In fact, something I wish more people would write about. Not the “You have never heard this before” yet it is what EVERYONE writes.

But I have a lot of new things to share this year. I refuse to be a page 87 success story. A page 87 success story with garbage about weight loss in the 86 pages before it.

But I am a success story. And you do not have to be fabulous to be one.

Maybe you do. But I have said this all year, keep popping back in. I have a lot to offer in 2012.


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