I can honestly say now that I have confidence in myself. I think for the longest time I would confuse arrogance with confidence. I think a lot of people do.
I have been overweight since I was seven years old. Since my dad brought home the first Little Caesars pizza I devoured. I remembered ripping the paper it was wrapped in and going to town. I liked the crazy bread as well. The only thing that was crazy about it was there was never enough,
When you are overweight for that long you become successful in some diets. When I was 14 I lost 50 pounds on my own. Then when I was 18 I lost 70 pounds and right before I met my wife I lost 80 pounds.
Every time I lost weight I became arrogant. I could not understand why others could not lose weight as well. When I lost weight I wondered what the big deal was about people whining about how hard it was. JUST EAT LESS!! That is all…..
Then I would gain back the weight. I would feel isolated in life. I would wonder why I thought it was so easy to lose weight.
I gained and lost a lot. Once I hit 400 pounds, all confidence in myself was gone.
I felt worthless. More like a burden to others. I would look at my wife and know she could do better. I would go to work wondering when I would be fired. Any compliment I would get about anything was not what I wanted to hear. I did not live at that point. I breathed. Barely.
Losing over 200 pounds changed me. I learned that there is no perfect way to lose weight. I learned that the “Are you really eating that!” person is the most annoying person ever. I learned that I am not here to change the world. I am here to change myself. To make my life better. To make me better. To make the people around me better.
I am not arrogant. I know what arrogance is. Arrogance is not saying “I look good!”. Arrogance is saying “I look better than you ever will!”.
But that is not me. There are better bloggers and weight loss success stories. There are better restaurant managers than me. There are better people than me.
But I am a damn good blogger and weight loss story. I work real hard as a restaurant manager and I am a good person.
I am confident. I worked real hard over the last few years to get it. The scale will not ever make me lose it again. I know that I am not ugly. I know that if I put my mind to things, I can accomplish anything. I also know I will never be over 400 pounds again.
I think that is why I am blogging more often now. I think that I did not put 100% into it before. I enjoy it for me but I love when others read me as well.
Someone asked me if losing weight changes your life. I will admit, when I lost 221 pounds I thought the world should look at me differently. I thought my story should be up in lights and that people owed me something.
Losing weight does not always change your life. Losing 221 pounds changed my view on one thing.
I have the confidence to know I can do anything.