When it comes to weight loss I do not think there are many stupid questions. I think that people are at different points with their journey and they need to know how to get past certain obstacles. I have been asked about certain foods and workouts that to me seem basic but to someone else could help change everything.

There is one question that I always thought was stupid. It always was asked like this.

“Hey Tony. I love your blog. Listen, this might be too personal and I am okay if you do not want to answer, but was you sex life better after losing weight?”

I loved the disclaimer. I did not have to answer it. Believe it or not I got asked this question over and over again.

When I was over 400 pounds sex was the last thing on my mind. Not because I did not enjoy it, but I was worried about other things like food, food, food and food.

Not only that, but I felt horrible about myself. I felt like a failure because I could not lose weight. Not because of the number on the scale but because I could not accomplish a task.

When you feel like that you do not want to be touched. You do not want a hug. You do not want intimacy.

At 420 pounds I felt like a hippo. And what woman wants a hippo grinding on top of them? Begging for air to breath instead of suffocating?

Once I started to lose weight I felt better about myself. Not because of the way I looked but more because I was accomplishing something. I felt more confident. I could take more compliments. And I felt like I wanted to be with my wife.

Confidence is sexy. I get a lot of emails from women who gained weight and say their husbands find them unattractive. I hate that with a passion because for every husband who finds their wife unattractive, there are 100 guys who will find that same woman beautiful. I believe that beauty has nothing to do with weight and I always have. I am not saying that because it is the politically correct thing to say. I am saying that because confidence and personality really shine one someone. When someone is so down on themselves, it shows. I could not expect my wife to find me attractive until I found myself attractive.

You know those memes on Facebook that say “Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, like and share this” or the ones that have Marylin Monroe on them and say beauty has curves. I never understood them until recently. There are tons of beautiful 120 pound women and 350 pound women. The hard part is having those people believe it.

Weight loss did it for me. Being 420 pounds was horrible but losing the weight brought a confident sexiness to me I did not think I had. I still struggle, but struggling is not being lost at 420 pounds. I am not the best looking or the most in shape guy, but I know that I have the determination to be better.

You are never going to be perfect, but you are going to be better than you once were. And when you feel better about yourself, other will as well.

Anyway, I never really answered the question. Is sex better after losing a ton of weight. Is sex better after not being able to wipe yourself and barely be able to walk? Is it better than coughing blood every day?

A touch.

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