I was recently in a compilation on Shape.com as one of nine inspiring weight loss bloggers.

I am not going to lie, I do not like compilations. I have turned down a couple over the years from AOL and Yahoo. I know that it is a great feeling to get your story out, but in my opinion it kind of takes away from the story itself. Your story is mashed up with others.

The reason for this one is different…….

When I started this journey in February of 2008, I did not have a son. I was married with a dog and two cats. I was a chef who so desperately wanted to run my own store. I felt like I kept on getting passed up because of my weight. I felt that I was a failure in life because of my weight.

So I lost weight. A lot of it. My life changed because I did. I walked with more confidence and people noticed. My job noticed and promoted me shortly after losing over 200 pounds. My wife got pregnant and in 2009 we had out son, who is the pride and joy of my life.

Life changed but I still focused on eating right. My love for the gym grew to a fantastic level. I was focusing on writing and I had my weight loss story in a few different publications.

Then I quit my job. The company I was at for over six years changed and did not care much for me. I went to a new company that did care. My son was getting big and I had time to see him grow up. Finding time to work out was challenging, but I did everything possible to make it happen. I needed the two hours to myself to collect my thoughts. Life was going fast.

Last year life stopped for me. A routine day turned into a nightmare that will change my life forever. It changed the way I look at everything. Some days I am sad, other days I am angry. I do not look at things the same.

Tragedy is a part of life. Most people go through it. When it happened to me, my life……my story changed. I did not care about power foods or three pound gains. I did not care about different kinds of workouts and I did not care about weight loss success stories.

In fact, I really did not care about mine.

I wanted to know why it happened to my family. I wanted to know what I did wrong and what I could do in the future to make sure this does not happen again.

Unfortunately, there are no answers. Tragedy usually does not give answers.

One thing I learned about my weight loss is the more honest I was, the more I helped people. When I would talk about not being able to put on a seat belt, people would write me to thank me for it. Because they felt like it only happened to them. When I would write having diets ruined because I dreamed I overate, people would write me and say it happened to them as well. When I would write about my failures, it would help many more people than successes.

So I wrote about my tragedy. The only time I spoke of it. I did it for one main reason. I hoped that telling my family’s story would help someone. Someone who felt like losing a child only happened to them. I wrote it and never read it again. I promoted it more than any other post I ever had. I submitted it to every women’s magazine out there. I asked every blogger I know to link it, because I just felt like it would help someone. People were very gracious and helpful. And of course, one popular blogger sent me this lovely note….

“Sorry, I am at Blogher. Can’t help.”

But my story did help some. I would get letters thanking me. That made me feel good. It made my family realize that we were not alone. That was important.

My weight loss story is not the same anymore. It has changed a lot. I will always struggle with food. Big deal. I will always love working out now. Big deal.

Now I need to succeed after getting knocked down in life.

And I will, here is no doubt in my mind. It is not blind confidence. It is the confidence that I should have had for over thirty years. the confidence that I will never be over 400 pounds again. the confidence that I will not fail. The confidence that I will make my family proud.

When I go tot he gym now, it is my time to think. It is my alone time, and it has helped me more than anything else.

That is why the Shape story is a little different. Sure, I am number nine out for nine bloggers. Yes, I am probably not the most inspiring blogger on the list.In fact, you have to do a lot of clicks before you get to mine.

The reason I am on that list is because of “The Butterfly”. Because the story inspired the author and wanted to get it out to as many people as possible.

That is an honor to me. A huge honor.

I hope my story does help others. Because the responses I have received over the last few months have helped me.

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