My son had a wonderful holiday this year. He got so many toys. Yet, his favorite toy is an Electronic McDonald’s Cash Register…….

I remember waking up and wondering why I did not die the night before. My arms were almost always numb. I could barely breathe, which is why I had an inhaler next to me in the bed. It just always seemed like I should have died.

My biggest fear was not dying, it was the aftermath. How were they going to get me out of the house? If I did have a heart attack, how would my wife be able to get me to the hospital?

When I was over 400 pounds, I did not think I could lose weight. I was long past that. I let myself down so many times. Do not get me wrong, I knew how to lose weight. I have read enough books. I knew exactly what it was going to take to lose weight. Yet, I found myself pulling into the McDonald’s drive thru at 2am.

At the time, there were not a lot of 24 hour fast food restaurants. McDonald’s was open. McDonald’s was there with the same menu for years, well, except for the salads which always seemed to change.

I would always order different things. Sometimes it was a couple Quarter Pounders, other times it was Big Macs. I was never a fan of the McNuggets, and the fries always slowed me down.

The same guy was always there who rang up my order. I changed up my order because I was not going to have him memorize it. It was humiliating enough that I would order twenty to thirty dollars worth of food. I was not going to be known for a certain order.

I also never ordered a drink. I have not had a regular soda since 1989 and I only drank diet sodas. I always heard the joke about the big guy who orders a ton of food and then a Diet Coke. That was not going to be me.

But it was me. I would order my food and then park in a space. I would open up the first burger and then get sad because I knew all of the food would be gone soon. I would eat and eat and not enjoy it, just know that I would be hungry afterwards.

It did not change. I loved McDonald’s. It is so funny when they show those YouTube videos where McDonald’s food stays the same color for years and the movies they make about how unhealthy it is. They could have put a skull and crossbones on all of the food and I would still eat it.

Food was my crutch. It meant more to me than anything else. If it was not McDonald’s, then it would be something else. I remember one time eating a raw cannelloni at work. It was gross, yet I needed it.

McDonald’s did not make me overweight. If they would have banned all fast food, I would still find a way to eat. As unhealthy as McDonald’s is, it is not as unhealthy as gorging yourself with an incredible amount of food.

I made myself overweight. It numbed me when I ate so much, and I did eat a lot. I estimate that I ate between 10,000-12,000 calories a day, but I bet it was more. I knew that alcohol and drugs were bad for you. I heard it everyday at school.

But with food, I was different. I could not stop at one cookie in class. I could not have just one slice of pizza in the cafeteria. I never really thought about it. I was just hungry. I did not realize it until I was over 400 pounds.

I lost over 200 pounds and I continue to fight to keep it off.

The other day I took my son to McDonald’s. I refuse to be one of those organic crazies. I think that kids should have a variety of food. He eats enough healthy food as well.

I wish I could say that the smell was gross there, but it was not. The smell is the exact same as it was in 1988 and 2008. It was still pretty tasty.

My son got some nuggets and fries. He had a couple of nuggets and a few fries and then he was all done.

He did something I could not. He stopped. That  is why I did not get anything.

I read a lot about people blaming parents for obese children. Well, my parents had nothing to do with me being overweight. I read a lot about people blaming their spouses for being overweight. My wife had nothing to do with it. I am the oddball.

I had everything to do with being overweight.

I also had everything to do with losing it.

 

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