The picture, my weight and my scowl does not show what I did the past two years. It does not show the workouts I have done and the amount of weight I have pushed myself to lift.
But earlier this year, while at the gym, I was approached by a trainer. She was around 120 pounds, and very attractive. She was wearing some capri black workout pants, and a football jersey that on the back had the number “69” and the name “Crazy B*tch” across her back.
While I was on the bench press, she came up to me and asked how I was doing. I said fine and hoped that was all she wanted.
She wanted more….
“So, let me ask you something. Do you want to make 2011 yours, because I can help you out. I have trained numerous people, and I can get you in some serious shape. You are kind of big now, but I can get you shredded! Just let me know if you are interested.”
I told her thank you but I was not interested. I did not want to go into detail my past or what I was trying to accomplish.
“Well, up to you. I just HATE for people to be out of shape.”
She walked away, and although she was truly trying to be nice, she made me mad. I hate when people assume.
Here is what I will never be…..
I will not be that fat guy at the strip club. The one that looks like an easy mark. The one that “Shasta McNasty” goes up to after dancing on the pole and tries to take all of his money. The guy that is just happy a girl talks to him.
I will not be the fat guy at a wedding. The one that does a stupid dance in the middle of the floor to get attention. The dance where he is all sweaty and four bridesmaids in short cocktail dresses whistles at him. Not because he is a good dancer, but because he is a joke.
I will not be the fat guy who makes fun of himself.
I will not be the fat guy that doubts himself.
I will not be the fat guy.
The term “fat” is a funny one, because more than anything it is a state of mind. There are 350 pound men who have lost 100 pounds who are not fat. Not in their mind. They have a plan, they have worked hard to get to 350 pounds, and nothing will stop them.
There are 110 pound people who feel “fat”. They insult themselves and talk about their body in a negative way.
When I hit 340 pounds (80 pounds lost), in my mind, I was not fat. I could care less what anyone else says, I had my life back. Seat belts were tight, but they fit. Booths were rough, but I squeezed into them. My cholesterol went down, and my heart rate was getting back to normal.
See, scales are great, but they do not define a journey. Where you are at defines a journey.
The confidence you have defines a journey…..
But if you saw me, you would not think I could do it. I am five foot six, and although I am not 261 pounds, I am still over 200 pounds. I have a BMI of “Whoomp, Whoomp…..WHHHHHOOOMMMMPPP, I make loose skin sandwiches and I have stretch marks as tattoos on my body.
You might even think I was fat. You might underestimate me.
But I am not fat. I am the jackass who stays on the StairMaster forever.
The other day, the “Crazy B*tch” was on the machine next to me. I was in the zone, listening to some music and doing my stupid dance like I always do.
Around the 30th minute, she tapped me on the shoulder.
“Hey man……you are looking good….and kudos on doing this machine! How much longer do you have?”
I looked at her and said “How much do you have”
“Oh, I go for 45 minutes. Most people go for 15-20 minutes, so great job on doing 30!”
“Ok, I will double your time. 90 minutes, which will be easy for me.”
After 45 minutes, she got off. I went for 90 minutes and then went on another machine for 30 minutes.
I do not need one.