“A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

“Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I’d rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn’t enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: “How amazing am I ?! “

This was the newest thing passed around on Facebook. A few of my friends put it up.

I have to be honest, I really do not know how I feel about it. On one hand, I get it. We should be happy with who we are each day since, well, that is who we live with. On the other hand, as Cyndi passionately said, who does not want to be a mermaid?

Why do I go to the gym every day?

I do not want a beautiful funeral.

I could see it. After working so hard, all of my old habits would come back. Each day I would overeat I would say that tomorrow is a new day. Every day I would tell myself that I would wake up again a3:30am for the gym like I once did.

Tomorrow would not be there. The problem with tomorrow is that it quickly turns into yesterday.

I would have gained back all the weight and then some. My wife would force me to go to the doctor once again, and he would put me back on my medications that I would not take. I would keep telling myself that I lost weight before and I could do it again. I would keep remembering the workouts I once had.

And then……..as much as I would hate for it to happen, I would go.

No one would notice at first. I have not blogged for a couple of weeks in the past, so why would people worry?

Then after a couple of weeks, some people online would worry.

“Did The Anti-Jared stop blogging?”
“Yeah….funny. He ALWAYS talked about people quitting blogging. Serves him right!”

But then my wife would post something about me on my blog.

People would be sad. They would remember the hoodie wearing guy who worked out all the time.

Then Jen would organize a nice tribute to me. She would do it on Twitter or something with #theantijared hashtag. Mizfit would follow suit as well since she likes to help. At Fitbloggin, there would be a moment of silence for my life. Maybe someone would even nominate me to be a Mamavation mom, something I have joked about for some time.

Six months after, I would be forgotten online. I would be an afterthought.

But my family would not forget. I would look down on them and be angry at myself. Angry for my selfishness. Angry that I could not do anything about it.

That is why I do it now.

I have spent so many years being selfish. Selfish by not taking care of myself and justifying my eating.

The whole “you only live once” thing is not the way to live for me. It is true, I do not know what each day holds for me, but I also think it is not fair to my family or myself to play Russian Roulette with my life. I can not have people in my life worry about me each and every day. Wondering if I am going to go back to my old ways.

That is why I am passionate about the gym. It sounds silly, but there is some reassurance to me after I am done that I did what I could for my health. I tried, which is far from what I used to do. I do not go for rock hard abs or looking sexy. I go because I did not before. Because I can. My life is not about comparing myself to a whale and a mermaid. It is taking a Polaroid picture with a whale and a mermaid.

I do not know if weight loss is a journey, but life is. Where am I going to be in a year? Where will my confidence take me? Can I help others as a career?

Who knows. That is the fun now.

So whatever your reason to work out, or just do small changes in your life, do it. Because I do not want to be a whale or a mermaid….

I just want to do more for my health.

I just want my beautiful funeral postponed for quite a while.

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