I love getting questions about blogging. Blogging to me is just like weight loss…..
It makes no sense.
When you think you understand it, you know nothing about it. Yet, for three years I have been trying to consistently post, come up with ideas, and get involved with social media.
I do know that I am a weight loss blogger. I was once asked if I would consider my blog in the health/fitness genre. For a time, I did want to be a fitness blogger. I realized that I am and always will be a weight loss blogger.
But maybe I am the different one. I am okay with that.
So I have decided to give you ten ways I am different that a health/fitness blogger.
Ten Ways I am Different
1. Health Blogger- Weight loss is a journey. It is like a marathon, you must pace yourself.
Me- I am not the Legend Of Zelda. I am not on Pegasus with a sword in my hand galloping through Whole Foods. What the hell is this journey stuff. I need to eat less. Period. Does it truly matter if I call it a diet. Hell, I can call it “crap on wheels”. The bottom line is I need to eat less.
2. Health Blogger- I just ate this magnificent Thai entree. Here is a picture, I know I should not have eaten it all, but what the hay!
Me- I just ate a 2004 Kia Sportage. I estimated it out to be close to 4 million calories. I probably should not have eaten the whole thing, but I could not stop. At least there is some fiber in the hubcaps.
3. Health Blogger- Did you see the treasure I got at the farmer’s market?
Me- This a**hole in front of me at Wal Mart has 23 items. It clearly says 20 or less. Follow the rules!
4. Health Blogger- It does not matter if I get one comment or one thousand comments, I just love to write.
Me- How is it that this turd I wrote got me 35 comments and the post I wrote with tears in my eyes only got four comments, one of which was in Chinese and it was porn. I know this because I only clicked it 4 times.
5. Heath Blogger- Do not worry so much about things like Klout, it is about living!
Me- WTF! How did my score go from a 62 to a “Jesus That Is Low” all of the sudden??? I even got the “Make It Rain” badge, which could possibly be the worst name for a badge.
6. Health Blogger- Fast food is disgusting!
Me- Whoever invented the McRib is a genius! Limited time, bun, way too much BBQ sauce, and a piece of meat that no one truly knows what it is. It is back!!! I think I can burn off enough calories to eat it by doing the cabbage patch in front of McDonald’s with excitement.
7. Health Blogger- I just took an exhilarating run!
Me- This woman needs to stop looking at me on the StairMaster. Yeah, I know I sweat. I bet she is worried that I will not clean off the machine. Well, I always do. BTW, why does this woman have the word “PEACH” bedazzled on her a**. What benefit is that? Now, after looking at her booty like a pervert, I do not want a peach. Well, I refuse to finish before she does. LET’S DO THIS!
8. Health Blogger-I think it is harder for an obese person today with the media than ever before!
Me- I remember my teacher in 7th grade called me “Porky” in front of the class. When I cried and told my parents they called the school. Nothing was done about it.
Today I heard that a girl was on Four Square. She said that there were a lot of fat people at the gym. One person caught it and blogged about it. CNN picked it up, and over 4 million people blasted her.
As bad as you think it is, it is not 1987. It is a much better time with tolerance today. Not perfect, but much better.
9. Health Blogger- You should get healthy for you.
Me- Once I lose all of my weight, I am going to hire the band Survivor. Then I am going to wear a suit and walk into a bar while “Eye Of The TIger” is being played as my theme music. When women approach me, I will be saying “Not only am I married, where were you before? WHERE WERE YOU???? Kiss my a**!!!!!!!!”
I mean really, can’t someone say that is a reason to lose weight?
10. Health Blogger- I love this!!!
Me- I do not love this everyday, but I have to do it. I can not have my son see the selfish 420 pound man who could barely get off the couch. Who was on four heart/cholesterol medications because he could not stop eating. Who would have a bag of Taco Bell and be sad because that was all. Who did not live for anyone else but himself. I do not have to love this, but I love playing with my son. I love being able to do things for my wife. I love getting the respect I should have gotten before at work. I love the fact that I can do much more with my life. Weight loss sucks, but I do not. It took over 30 years to figure that out.
I am a weird blogger. You do not know what you will get out of me. When I am in the worst mood I will write a funny post. When I am in the best mood I will write an angry post. I am just as honest as everyone else.
I just know that I lost a lot of weight. I am okay with struggling because it is better than failing. I am okay with not being perfect. And I truly love working out.
Welcome to The Anti-Jared…. the weird weight loss blog.