I took a picture of myself this morning during my workout. Yes, right now it is 6:30am on Thursday.

I did not realize this, but I have not taken a “tank top” picture in over a year. If you have read my blog, you will know that I actually hate taking pictures. I always have.

But I did it today because I am starting a three month program. I am not doing a challenge or some sort of gimmicky thing like I have tried in the past. I am going to eat less, track to the best of my ability, and workout as hard as I have.

In 2008 I was 420 pounds. I lost 221 pounds in a year. It was very structured. Most weight loss is. Every “diet” or “program” or “journey” has a step by step way of losing the weight. In my eyes, that is about 3% of it while 97% of it is following through.

And for the first time in a while…..I followed through.

But in 2009, I tried something different. I am not an athlete. I have never played a sport nor did I truly doing anything active. At 198 pounds, I did not have a lot of muscle on me. I have always been fascinated with being “big”. I was always jealous of football players and bodybuilders.

So I tried to figure it out. I realized pretty early that the whole “Lose fat and gain muscle” thing would not work for me. I was being counterproductive. I would try to limit my food, yet think I could gain muscle. Some people tell you it is possible. It did not work for me.

So I ate. I worked out. I gained muscle.

I also gained fat. For the first time in my life though, it did not bother me. Well, some days it did. It is a weird thing going up a size or to in pants. It is a little tough when someone looks at you and you know they are thinking “Uh oh, they are gaining back the weight.”

Yet, it did not phase me. For two years I ate and worked out. I did not maintain. I wanted to get bigger.

At the beginning of this year, I was at 261 pounds.I knew it was time to start losing weight again.

It was a hard transition. Going from eating to cutting back. There were days when I had it, and other day when I felt like I had nothing.

Yet, through this whole journey, no matter how much I ate, I grew a fondness for fruits and vegetables. No matter how tired I was, I wanted to work out.

And here I am today. I have decided to focus on myself, to become the best I can be…..for me. For the next three months, I have decided to post a picture each week. I am going to focus more on cardio and really track what I put in my system. Nothing fancy.

The thing is, once you have muscle, it does not go away that easy. Fat does though. That is why former athletes look amazing when they lose weight. I am doing the opposite. I am trying to look like a former athlete without being one.

I have a little ways to go. I decided to do this during the hardest time of the year. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years. All of that.

But anything easy really is not worth it….is it?


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