All week long the gym has been empty. That usually happens on holiday weeks.
I belong to three gyms. I do this because if one is closed, then one of the other gyms will be open. The one by my house was closed on Monday, so I went tot the 24 hour Anytime Fitness that is about 20 minutes away.
There are many reasons I love going to the gym. Working out is the main one, but it is also a time for me to be alone. Working a lot, being a husband and Dad and running errands all day has its toll on me. I need the time to work my body and think about things.
Yesterday I got an email from someone who was 400 pounds like I was. He read my blog and thanked me for some of my stories. He related to many of them.
The email was very nice.
At the end, he asked me if I would help him lose 200 pounds…..
When I was 420 pounds I had blinders on. I was so focused on food that I did not see my wife’s tears or my family cries. I knew I could lose weight because I have done it before.
But when? When would I lose the weight?
I waited for an easier way. I would watch television ads with doctors and bikini models telling me I could lose weight. There were trainers who offered me free sessions. I could have had gastric surgery paid for. Yet, I held back…until the blinders came off.
When you see people around you hurt by your actions, it hits you. Like a gambler who lost everything and now their family has no home. Like an addict who wonders why their family left.
Mine was not that extreme. Or was it? How many more meals would I have eaten before it ruined my life?
I made the decision to lose weight. I joined Weight Watchers, and rarely went to meetings. I went to weigh in each week. I did not weight myself every day. That will mess with your head. Gaining and losing every day. Each week was fine for me.
No one pushed me to join Weight Watchers. There was no ultimatum. I wanted to.
Once I started to lose weight things got easier. I knew that eating small amounts of processed foods would not work for me forever so I changed the way I ate. In over thirty years, I have eaten everything known to man. I realized I am not missing out on food.
When my life changed, I was able to write about it. Once I was able to wipe myself in the bathroom, I was able to write about it on my blog. When I realized I would not cough blood, I was able to write about it. Once I was able to put on my seat belt, I was able to write about it. My wife never knew these things. To this day, I have never spoken about it. Only on my blog.
After losing over 200 pounds, I was able to do more. My life changed, yet stayed the same.
I still have a 420 pound mentality, which is why my blog is interesting to some. I never made the switch.
I still see the humor of weight loss ads and fitness enthusiasts who want to change you. I see how motivation in the weight loss world costs money and there is no perfect food.
That is not my blog. For some time I wondered why do I still blog? if you have read me for some time, you know that is a theme. At one point, maybe it was to get noticed by the media. Then, maybe it was to get noticed by sponsors. If you read my blog from month to month, it changes.
When I read the email I got yesterday, I realized that was one reason. Because there will be a 400 pound person who will read about size 60 pants or wiping their bottom and say “Wow, I can do this as well.” I am not that special. I am not that unique. I did not read a passage from an inspirational book. I lost weight because I had no other choice. And that choice gave me more choices.
When I came home from the gym today, my son was running around with a sock in his hand. He loves to yell “Socks!” all around the house now.
I remember I did not wear socks before. I could not put them on. The only way I was able to put on socks is if I was on my bed. I would lean back and get the tip of the sock on my toe, and then rock once more to put it on. It would take about 10 minutes to do both feet. Getting off socks was much easier, just roll my foot on the floor so it came off like a ball.
That is why I blog. For me. I do not want to ever forget being 420 pounds. Memories fade quick. I can not do that to my family again.
I can not do that to myself again.
And that is how I help people.