The other day, Bob wrote on my Facebook wall….

Where is the blog entry about your wife loving you regardless of your weight problem? I want to show it to my girlfriend.

Before I go any further, I want to say that I am not one of those “pioneer bloggers.” You know, the ones with the popular blogs who have “no sense of technology”. They act like they do not understand what Internet traffic is, or how to use a smart phone, or how their blog got popular………..

Well, except for the countless hours they promoted it. Yet, they link and know all of their stats?????????

I understand most of it. I know what it takes to have a popular blog and to have your story out there. It is much more than luck. In fact, it has nothing to do with luck.

Yet, I refuse to organize my blog posts or make them easy to look through. I never wanted to blog that way. My posts were written “at the moment” and then over. That is why I write about the same topics often. That is why I contradict myself.

I do not know much about Bob, except that once in a while he will let me know when I misspell a word or give me his resume for a job. I actually did give an effort to find the post, but I could not.

So instead, I will just tell Bob’s girlfriend myself….

Dear Bob’s girlfriend,

My name is Tony, and I have a blog called The Anti-Jared. I have dealt with obesity for most of my life. I have lost and gained weight for over 30 years.

When my wife first met me, I was 230 pounds. I just lost 80 pounds on a diet. My wife had no idea that I had this crazy eating habit.  I looked normal. I always had a big frame for a short guy.

We would go out to eat a lot, she would eat normal and I would eat more. I gained a little weight at first. It has happened most of my life. She never said a word.

When we moved to New York, I was around 300 pounds. I was still able to do everything that a normal person could do. I could still put on a seat belt. I could still go to the restroom. I proposed to my wife (Then girlfriend obviously) and she said yes. There was no hesitation. She loved me regardless. She loved my humor, how much I cared about her. Sure, I had my flaws. One of them was eating.

In 2003 we moved to Florida. I was around 365 pounds then. My wife never said a word to me about my weight, but more about my health. She wanted me to be around for a while. My weight gain was selfish. I wanted to eat a lot. I did not want to exercise. I understand that now. I did not then.

She always loved me no matter what. She never made a comment about my health. I do remember once she said “If the doctor told you today that you were in great health, then I would not want you to change!”

The doctor did not tell me that. At 420 pounds, I was in poor health. My cholesterol was well over 300. My blood pressure was through the roof. I was a walking time bomb.

It killed my wife. She never told me, but I could tell. It was not fair, food was running my life. It did not matter that I could not bend or I was tired all the time. She never said I was unattractive. She has always loved me unconditionally.

I am going to tell you a secret Bob’s girlfriend. The spark of my weight loss.

I did go to the doctor in February of 2008, but that was not the main reason why I lost weight. It was another doctor’s appointment. It was one in December of 2007. See, we did not think that we could have children on our own. We were going to adopt, and with me being over 400 pounds, I knew the odds were against us. I always had that over me, and I felt guilty about it.

The doctor told us that we were able to have children of our own. I took two months to gain some strength, and I made a decision that would change me forever. I lost 221 pounds in a year.

My wife was there for me the whole time. We did not go out to eat as much. We made more vegetables in the house. We would go a walk once in a while. I would do more because it was my journey. My wife understood that. I had to lose weight for myself. My wife looked at me when I was 198 pounds the same way she looked at me when I was 420 pounds.

Over the last two years I have been on this weird mission which I can “Trying to gain muscle”. I work out two hours a day. I get up at 4am on most days so it does not interfere with daily activities. My family comes first.

I gained 45 pounds in two years. Most people would freak out and call themselves a failure, but I knew it would happen. To gain muscle, you gain fat. Muscle does not go away as fast as people think when you lose weight, it is the gaining part that takes a while. I have never played a sport, but always wanted to look like I did. My wife, like most people, do not understand my obsession with “Trying to gain muscle” but I am healthier. She cares about that. She knows what the end result will bring.

We have a son now who is going to be two in a couple of months. When we go out, he smiles and waves at all the ladies. Every time he does this, my wife looks at me. My son gets this from his dad. I am kind of a flirt.

I also know that no other person would have been there for me. My wife loved me for over ten years, unconditionally. She never asked me to diet. She thought I was a weirdo when I joined Weight Watchers. She has been through the good times and the bad. And I made a commitment to myself to focus on more good times.

If she ever made a comment about the way I looked, I would not be with her. If you are not attracted to someone who is overweight, you will never be. If you think they are lazy, then you always will think that. I watch these talk shows where the guy/girl fall out of love with someone who gained weight. I never understood that. Putting people down instead of helping? It made no sense.

Good thing my wife never understood that as well. She has always loved me……


Tony Posnanski

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