It was towards the end of 2008. I was in a Weight Watchers meeting. At the time I lost close to 160 pounds. I was not blogging regularly but I had a blog. Instead, I was more consumed with Weight Watchers forums.
I never talked at the meetings. Some things made sense, but most did not to me. The whole “eat what you want but smaller portions” was way to foreign. When they did not talk about working out, I could not grasp it. Yet, it is so important to hear about struggles. It is the one thing that helped me the most.
Towards the end of this meeting, people got up to do their celebrations. I lost 6 pounds that week, and getting up was not worth the little sticker they would put on my bookmark. I kept quiet.
One woman did get up. She gained two pounds but was ready to get back on track. She made a mistake at a restaurant where she thought her meal was 2 points, but instead was 20 points. People cheered and supported her.
I kept quiet.
When the meeting was over, I was in disbelief. I was beyond amazed at how someone could confuse 2 points and 20 points ( I have not been a member in years, but I am sure it is a 800-1000 calorie gap). How could someone think that eating an entree with cream, or fried, or whatever unhealthy way it was prepared was 2 points!
Not only that, but 20 points does not make you gain 2 pounds. What other mistakes did she make? If she made that mistake, anything is possible!
I never said anything, but once I started blogging, I was incredibly opinionated. There was only one way to lose weight. There were the best ways. You had to give up things, and if you did not work out, you were doomed.
Okay, so maybe I never full on said that, but it was the overtone of a lot of my posts. Some people were inspired, most were not. I promoted my blog so much then that I did not care if I offended people. If you stopped reading, I would find others.
Time went on, and I started to realize that the woman at the Weight Watchers meeting was not the dumb one, I was. I have been dieting since 1989. I am the one who was educated in portion sizes and the right foods to eat. I have lived most of my life knowing that drinking water, six small meals and moving more are the keys to success. I could see though most of the fad diets, yet I did them. When pills were new and improved, I believed it. Then so much information flooded the market on weight loss. If you want something to be healthy, I am sure you could find a study on Google that will back up the claim.
Over the last two years, the hardest part of my journey has not been the weight loss. It is getting to know myself. It is the harsh reality that I should have never been over 400 pounds.
I knew too much. I understood the ins and outs of weight loss. Although I went to Weight Watchers, I used principles of weight loss from the past. Although I used machines at the gym, I gained muscle by using the principles of working out from an old workout book. Why did I let myself go? Why did I get to be so heavy?
Then I realized it did not matter anymore. I was 420 pounds. There. Done. There is nothing I can do about it, but move forward and not get to that point again. Understanding that I will slip, but I need to pull out all of the stops on falling. I have done this for over twenty years, I know way too much.
My opinion is much different now. I realize that people have questions. Most people were not overweight their whole lives. The gym is intimidating. People do wonder if Alli works. I used tot think there were silly questions, but there are not. It is silly that I have known about this for 20 years. It is silly that I have not had a regular soda since 1987 nor an alcoholic beverage since 1998, yet I was over 400 pounds.
If you Google “weight loss” one of the first things that pops up is Sensa, a powder you pour over your food that promises you will not overeat. Really????
It is not fair. There should be other things that Google could put up there.
Today when I woke up, I went on my computer, and AOL had a success story. What was more interesting was the blog entry that the success story wrote. It was not a bad post. In fact, it sounded a lot like me. It sounded like posts I did a couple of years back.
What was interesting was that when I read it, I realized I was not that person anymore. There are no dumb questions in weight loss.
Take it from me. It took me only 21 years to become a success story.