As I have said before, I was a chef. I have been in restaurants since 1997 and worked in different cities and concepts.

There are different kinds of chefs. Most people see the ones on TV who shine and sparkle for 30 minutes. They create a fantastic dish and then make it seem very easy to do. In fact, they tell you it is easy to do over and over again.

I was a little different. I can cook, but I enjoy the financial part of it. I like executing a recipe and seeing how to make it at the lowest cost. I enjoy bidding with different produce companies and fixing problems with labor costs.

Believe it or not, being 420 pounds had its benefits as a chef. Everyone loves a “fat chef”. Whenever there was a problem with the food or service, I would always go to the table. Guests never left upset. It was easy to sway people, because I knew what I was doing. I ate everything the restaurant had to offer.

There was one family that always asked for me. They were always nice and never had a problem. They knew a little about me, and would not come in to eat unless I was working.

One day, the husband of the family wanted to see me outside. He looked concerned so I went.

“Hey Tony, I am not trying to push you or anything, but you are big. I worry about you, I see you all the time and I do not want you to go anywhere.”

I just stood there. He went into his bag and pulled out a bottle of pills.

“I own a company that makes diet pills. they are all natural and I have had success with them. In fact, I lost 30 pounds myself.”

I still stood there.

“They work, and I would like you to try them. Are you interested?”

He handed me the bottle and I nodded. I did want to lose weight. I was a lifelong diet failure.

“Great. Oh one other thing. Can you take a picture of yourself now and when you lose weight. I would love to have them.”

He walked away to enjoy his dinner. I stood there.

I stood there cold. I felt worthless. I did not cry nor was I angry. I felt used. I felt like I could not do anything for myself.

In fact, I was insulted. I threw the pills away. I never spoke to the family again.

I have told this story before. It is what makes me the way I am. I do not explain posts very often. I write posts that no one understands, but I do. Things that upset me do not upset others.

This weekend I got an email. It was a blanket email from two bloggers who were starting a program for  promoting bloggers. My name was not on there. The title was “Hey There ;)”

99.9% of people would not get how I could get irritated by this. I was irritated. I expect emails like this from PR firms or companies overseas. Not from bloggers, one of which I did an interview with.

Weight loss blogging is different than most. It is personal. We live in a world where everyone wants something. When people ask me about my weight loss, it is followed by something else……

“Have you tried…..”
“You could make money if……”
“If you are interested……”

I have worked hard to promote myself for three years. I am proud to say that I have made a name for myself in this little community, and I will strive to keep on doing it.

When I got that email, in some weird way, I felt cold again. Like a failure. Like I could not do something for myself.

Like someone gave me a bottle of pills.

That is the beauty of a blanket email. Most people think they are the only ones getting it. It is insulting to me.

You will never make tons of money blogging. The few that are popular have full time jobs or their spouse has a full time job. Companies already know that they can get us to promote their product for a sample. It is the nature of the beast.

I get it though. Just confused as to how I would be moved by the email.

We have great people out here as well. Jen and Jasmine are doing Blogging For A Change. Roni is working effortlessly on Fitbloggin (A conference for weight loss/fitness bloggers)  while just having a baby. You have people like Ryan who does random acts of kindness with his talents all the time. Great wonderful people who work so hard.

I am not putting down the people who wrote the email nor their motives. I am the weird one who just gets frustrated when I get an email from someone I know without my name on it. With different fonts. I expect it from Eggland’s Best, not someone who I email with.

That is why I blog, because I want to put my thoughts out there. I love when a post moves you, but you do not need to tell me “That post was great, best thing I have read in weeks from you.” Really, weeks????

I treat everything like weight loss. Weight loss goes like this…..


I can get Twitter followers and my name out. I know how to promote myself, and any company would be thrilled for me to write a post for twelve bucks worth of products.

But my favorite thing to do……

Writing 900 words on how it is real important to put my name in an email to me.


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