I bet that is you ask 100 people what skinny is, you will get a lot of different answers.

Some will say models in magazines.
Some will mention a weight loss success story.
Some will correct you and say “Healthy….not skinny!”
Some will give you the medical definition of skinny.

Few will say they are skinny.

For me, skinny is something a little different……

A few years back my wife and I went to my parent’s house. This was before we were married. We were living together at the time in North Carolina, where I am from. I was around 300 pounds at the time.

When we were in my parent’s house, my wife looked at the refrigerator. On it was a picture of me. Do not be fooled by all my pictures on the blog, I do not enjoy taking pictures. I never have. This was a very rare thing in my parent’s house.

It was a picture of me going to prom in 1992. I was wearing a tuxedo in front of my parent’s house. I was a junior in high school.

I remember looking at the picture and my wife saying “Wow, you were thin!”

I looked as well and she was right. I weight 145 pounds in that picture. I was 220 when I started high school, and I lost 75 pounds by eating less.

Until recently, I did not remember how I really felt in high school. I fluctuated between 145-165, yet I felt fat. It was at the time when Special K’s slogan was “Can’t pinch an inch on me.” Because of loose skin at the time, I always pinched an inch. I was fat.

I was 145 pounds!!!! I was delusional. I was five foot six and 145 pounds. I wore small shirts and my waist was a 29. I definitely was not fat!

I also remember one day in high school looking in the mirror. For some reason, I never could see a 145 pound body. I saw a 220 pound kid who was picked on. I did not like what I saw.

Time went on.  For years I dieted and dieted. It took a very long time, but I found happiness in myself and something that worked for me.For the first time, I was able to look in a mirror and be happy. Not so judgmental. I praise myself now much more than I criticize. I know that I am always close to being great. It is a big thing coming from someone who was so long gone.

Skinny to me is that. Skinny is what I thought I was in the past, but never was in the present. Something that I do not want to shoot for in the future.

It is a picture, not a feeling. I never felt skinny. Yet, when I looked at an old picture, I was skinny. At the time, I was not. That is the meaning to me.

So many people strive to be skinny. I envy them. I could never get it. I could never get to that point where so many people want to be.

When I got down to 198 I did not want to chase skinny. I wanted, for once in my life, to chase greatness.

Not sure if I will ever get there, but it is a fun thing to strive for.

 

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