I get asked a lot of questions about weight loss. This post is how I answered questions to myself three years ago.
Sometimes I wish people answered questions for me this way……
Q and A with myself- 2008
Q: How much food should I eat to lose weight?
A: Less than you are right now Tony. I mean seriously, you are eating so much food every day. Like a lot! Do you want me to give you a magical number? You know the 7000 calories you ate yesterday, why don’t you shoot for a touch less.
Q: Should I eat more protein?
A: Did you not see the first answer I gave you? Let’s worry about one thing at a time. You are worried about protein, yet, you are eating so much food. First things first, slow down on the eating! You do not need to eat so much!
Q: Should I get rid of all the bad food in the house?
A: So everyone needs to change their lives because of you? Okay, throw out the food, and then what? McDonald’s is right down the road. You pass by Burger King on the way home from work. You work in a restaurant for God’s sake! Get rid of the food, but if you want it, you will eat it anyway.I know you.
Q: When is a good time to start this weight loss plan?
A: Seven years ago. When do you think life is going to stop Tony? Tomorrow? Is everything going to be easier? Do you want to wait until The Biggest Loser calls you. I think they are looking for 400 plus men right now. Well, they are not going to call. No one is. A good time is now. Not in the morning, not on Monday. Or do you want to wait until you are in the hospital? A meal does not ruin the day, make the choice right now?
Q: How can I lose 50 pounds quickly?
A: Cut off a leg.
Q: What type of workouts should I do at the gym?
A: Walk in there! You have had a membership for a few months. That is a good workout. Walk in and give some sort of attempt at a workout.
Q: Should I work out with free weights or do more cardio?
A: Walk in the freaking gym first!!! You are worried about workouts, yet you have no desire to go.
Q: Is it okay to miss a workout?
A: Sure, miss one, then two. Then justify it because life is so busy. I mean, of course you can not dedicate 5% of your day to your health. Why should you? Keep on making excuses.Maybe you are not worth it, and by your actions, you feel that way!
Q: How do I stay motivated?
A: Wow…… really? You have a wife, right? You are trying to have a son, right? I need to tell you how to stay motivated? You need a speech from me. Maybe a nice quote from Mark Twain. Go look in the mirror. Really, go look. Look at your habits. I really need to tell you how to stay motivated? You are very selfish!
Q: How do I get support from my wife?
A: Geesh! You think she does not support you. Why, because you have lied to her that you would lose weight over and over again. Prove it to her. Prove that you want to lose weight. Prove you want to get healthy.
Q: What about loose skin?
A: YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME NOW! You are 400 pounds. Lose weight first, then worry about it. Sorry that you will not be a underwear model.
Q: Do you have any great tips, or a good eating plan?
A: I am not going to even answer that. The internet only has nine bazillion of them. Pick one…any one.
Q: Why are you such an a**hole to me?
A: Someone needs to be. Someone needs to care because you do not. You want sympathy? Here is the truth….. You eat a lot. Guess what, so do so many other people. I am tired of looking in the mirror at you and seeing so much wasted potential. You are better than that. Why can you not see that!
Q: Really, how is this going to help?
A: Someone needs to be real? You are 200 pounds overweight. This is not going to get any better unless you want it to. Worry about loose skin, workouts and protein later. You eat so much food! Eat less for now. Make some sort of “leap of faith” to better yourself. If not for you, then do it for your wife. Anyone!
Q: Do you think I can do it?
A: Do you have a choice?