” My weight loss story is good. I think it is the second best one out there. Your story is the best.”

– Tony Posnanski 1/2/2011

In March of 2009, I was at 198.8 pounds. I decided to stop losing weight. I was done at the time.

This was a very strange thing for someone who lost 221 pounds to do.

It was probably the best decision I ever made. I could have lost more. At the time, Weight Watchers was dangling the leader and other positions in front of me if I could get to 165 pounds.

If I went down to 170 pounds, I could claim that I was  250 pound loser.

Yet, at 198.8 pounds, I did not want to chase skinny. I have done so for so many years.

Skinny to me is a picture. I remember looking at pictures and saying “Wow, I was skinny!”.

Yet, looking back, I never felt skinny. Skinny was a past thing for me. I did not want to keep chasing it. At 198.8 pounds, I was healthier than before. Plus, I has many more goals to achieve. I was more focused on healthy rather than skinny.

I always want to be muscular. I wanted to be “big”. I never played sports in my life. I regretted it.

I was never active. I was not a “former” athlete.

During my transition, I fell in love with the gym. Learning new workouts, pushing myself to the limit.

My workouts were great. I was very involved with cardio and circuit training. It worked well when I was losing weight.

Yet, I fell into the whole “lose weight gain muscle” fantasy. It is on TV all the time. Charts on muscle confusion and different principles. It did not work for me.

I did gain a  little weight in June of 2009. My son was born, which made me change the way I look at, well, everything!!!

I also tried to get my story out there.

I was turned down by Prevention, Weight Watchers, Shape, Men’s Health, and local news organizations. Every time I got turned down, a little part of me was torn apart. As one of the magazines replied to me….

“Losing 200 pounds is amazing, but most people have 20-30 pounds to lose, so it is not realistic.”

Then, I did get my story in AOL. It was a cover story for a day, which got me a lot of new readers. I also broke away from AOL after they wrote this about Jared Fogle, because I think that insulting anyone on this journey is wrong.

But I had my blog. I was picking up some steam. My writing was more focused. I was more open.

In 2009, I learned that I tell my story well. Most people have never been over 400 pounds who read me. Yet, they know what it is like to be an outcast. Left out. Rejected. That is how I felt. I wanted people to know how my life was then. Not only that, I never wanted to forget. I never wanted to forget how hard life was. When I was 300 pounds, I was happy. I could do everything I could not, like put on a seat belt and wipe myself.

But I was far from done. I ended the year around 200 pounds. My strength was not there. I was showing a lot of muscle definition, but I knew that I had to gain weight to truly “gain muscle”.

And in 2010, strength, muscle, weight is not the only thing I gained…..

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