A few months back, I asked a weird question.

I got a lot of critical feedback, even from my wife.

One person understood.

Twice the Man wrote “I get it”.

Out of 40 responses, one person saw my point of view, which is out there a lot.

That is the beauty of blogging.

Today I went to my old gym. When I walked in, one of the trainers saw me, and pointed his finger at me, like a “Yo….what up” kind of thing.

I ignored him. I looked at him and walked by.

It made me look like a jerk. Like a snob. Like someone who is full of himself. Like a very insincere person.

Two years ago, the same guy came up to me. He handed me his business card and said ” Hey boss, if you want to get in shape, let me know. I can get you there. We can do a body fat analysis and I can get you better than you ever dreamed.”

It is amazing I remembered what he said, because I became furious after the word boss.

When you are big, everyone has a nickname for you. Boss, tiny, big man, chief, fella.

No one cares about your name. You are just a big man to them. Someone who needs help. Maybe I did. Maybe I needed to help myself?

It was insulting to me because at the time, I was down 80 pounds. I was working out. I was reading about different workouts and really focusing on eliminating processed foods.

It is a shame that happened, because it changed my view on personal trainers at the time.

Since then, I have met so many great personal trainers. People who really do have passion for helping people and are knowledgeable. 95% of them.

There are those “5%” who just want to get their name out. Who really think they are better than everyone else. That think that a 300 pound guy can not transform his body on his own.

I did.

I did not have someone train me in boot camp. I did not have someone wake me up at 5am and yell in my face.

I did it on my own. I needed to. This journey was hard enough for me running a “marathon” at 420 pounds. I did not need a 180 pound trainer on my back

Does it make my journey better?

No….not in the least. Some days I feel alone. Lost in this whole weight loss world.¬† Why have I not wanted to become a personal trainer? Work in the fitness industry?

Why have I not wanted to write a book?

“The Bottom Line Diet” by Tony Posnanski

Why? Because it would be like the other 1,000,000 books I have read my whole life. Losing weight does not make you a genius. I laugh when I see people give advice after they lost weight that are so “Woman’s Day Magazine” tips. Six small meals? How about working on just one small meal. Eat less and move more? Well, that is like saying basketball is just throwing a ball in a hoop. It is a little more than that. I think sometimes advice can be condescending.

I always knew what to do, doing it is completely different.

It is possible, but hard.

When I do not give advice like others, I do try to show you that some discipline and strength can get you far. It is hard and always will be. I still smell food and have memories. 30 years of horrible eating does not go away in a couple of years. I can tell you it does. Most will. I can tell you that I am the best, and that I rock all socks!

The cocky ones always fall hard. I have been cocky for so long. I fell hard so many times.

You have to be humble in weight loss.

I am called The Anti-Jared, and the reason for it changes every month. I do know that although most will read my blog because of losing 200 pounds, I do no want to walk around with “fat pants” that children can jump in. During the weight loss, I learned about the person I am. Talented, funny, smart. things that were different that the fat, ugly and lazy I heard my whole life. Weight loss became more than a number to me. I started to see the person I am. The person I want others to see. Even the person that so many others saw, but I never did.

So when he pointed at me, three years of my life flashed by. After being in CNN and AOL, I wore my oversized hoodie  at the gym. Why? Because my results are for me and my blog. For people who start their journey at 250 pounds who think there is no hope. I thought there was no hope at 420 pounds, yet I did not start this journey at 250 pounds. I waited. I waited until my doctor told me I would die. That is what changed me.

How strong am I? I had to have a doctor tell me I would die!

Do I really need to be on a pedestal?

This is my journey. I continue to learn. Blogging is not old yet.

This is also that weird post that 40 people will not understand, but one person will “get it”

I am glad that one person is me.

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