I have searched for a certain tampon at the store for 15 minutes
I have seen Bratz The Movie and Camp Rock…twice
I cry when I hear “The Reason” by Hoobastank
I have searched for a certain tampon at the store for 15 minutes (Sorry, just had to put that twice
)

Yet, nothing made me want to mail my penis back to God more than going to a Weight Watchers meeting.

I remember the first few times I went. I was the only guy there. Not only was I the only guy there, but I was the youngest member in the room by about 400 years. I remember a woman looking at me, shaking her fist, and saying…

“Damn you young kids and your Van Halen!”

My leader was nice but she always had something to sell. No matter what the conversation was, she was going to sell a Weight Watcher’s product….

“Oh my! I am so sorry that your Aunt passed! And you gained two pounds! Wow! That reminds me that Fruities are “buy one get one” today only! But my prayers go out to you!”

I remember being in the back and rarely saying anything. Every time I spoke, people gave me a look like I let out a juicy fart*.

* It was not me! It was the pink elephant under my chair.

Although I never spoke I listened. You would not know this from my blog, but I LOVE to listen.

So every single meeting I went to I listened. I knew everyone’s name.

See, WW is a diet. Just like any other. You get what you want out of it. They make it so you can eat anything, as long as you watch your portion sizes. They have zero point snacks (Which in WW’s world do not count)…… yet anything could be a zero point snack.

With all the feeling I have about WW…..

Those meeting saved my life.

In those meeting I heard a lot of excuses. Excuses I made every single day.

Excuses.

See, I was not scared of dying after those meetings. I was actually scared of living.

I was scared that in 20 years I would make the same excuses for not losing weight like I have. Blaming everyone around me for my size.

My eyes were opened. I started to blog after that. Not only to help myself (95% of the reason) but so others would know that everyone makes excuses.

For how long?

I have not gone to a WW meeting in a long time. I read blogs instead. I love to read about successes just as much as struggles.

I think that admitting you made excuses for 30 years of your life is manly.

I got my penis back from God.

I mean, at 420 pounds, I could not see it anyway.

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