I’m not a perfect person……
There is something beautiful to me about rain. I have always loved it. I love seeing the Grey clouds in the sky. I love seeing the first drop hit the ground. I love the way it smacks against the windows of my house. You can not stop the rain. No one can.
There’s many things I wish I didn’t do……
I always wanted to be that guy. You know the one. The one that fist bumps people instead of shaking hands. The one that has a couple of beers at the bar and becomes charming. The one that works at Abercrombie and Fitch. The one that looked good in a cowboy hat. The one that actually had fun at the prom. The one that didn’t struggle with food.
But I continue learning……
At 198 it was supposed to come to me. Like so many other success stories out there. The E-Books full of my knowledge, the understanding of portion control for life. Not many people lose 200 pounds. Very few do. Sure, many talk about it, but doing it, well, that is another story!
But it did not come to me. The struggle was still there. Like always. The fear of “am I hungry, should I eat?” was lingering over my success story. I could have done one of two things. I could lie. I could tell you how easy weight loss is. How everyone should be able to do it. How it is “just losing weight”. How I am I normal!
Or I could do something else? Be honest with myself.
I never meant to do those things to you……
I am not a 900 calorie a day guy. I need to go to the gym. I can not control processed foods. My weaknesses are my strengths. If I lie to myself I lose. I do not fool anyone. This is not just “losing weight”. People who say that do not get it. They do not get me. That is fine, because I get me. I know I am that weird one. The one that will fight with food while everything around me is perfect. My wife, my son, my job, etc. Because I am not eating an eclair does not mean I will not enjoy life. That is where people will not understand me. Food is not my life.
And so I have to say before I go……..
What great things in life are easy? CEO’s do not just apply for the job on Monster.com. Models do not apply to be on the runway. Weight does not come off. It is all work. Work I am willing to do. Work I have done. I do not mind the struggle, but I will not tell myself that food and I will be okay. We will not. It does not make me weak, it makes me honest. So maybe I will not have a twelve week plan on losing weight. Maybe I can not tell you the best foods to eat. Maybe I will not tell you how much protein to eat after a workout.
But maybe I will keep this weight off.
That I just want you to know…….
There is something beautiful to me about rain. But some people hate it. they hate the Grey clouds. They hate the sound of rain. They blame the weather man for predicting sunny skies instead of rain. They blame themselves for not having an umbrella. They hate the feel of the drops on their head. Their face.
I’ve found a reason for me, to change who I used to be…..
Here I am in the middle of a thunderstorm. I have no umbrella. I have no shelter close to me. I have two options. I can cry about it.
Or…..I can smile and enjoy the drops.
Wow how I love the rain.