I know what you are thinking.
With such an uplifting title, this post will inspire you to be your best.
Well, I am going to disappoint you. It will not.
I am always careful about the wording of my blog posts.
I really try hard not to offend people.
I am so opinionated, that sometimes my point can come through very poorly.
I have really tried hard on my last few posts not to offend. Sure, I have had some strong point of views, but I do not think there is anything insulting.
Yet, I get emails about how I am not that nice.
I lose followers.
To all of those people with your priceless feedback, I thank you.
I always forget that this is my blog. My view. My life. I write for me.
And now, I will give you a true reason to not like me……
1.Text and Drive- Really! You need to text while you are driving. What is so important that it can not wait until you have stopped. Do you need to put your location on that Four Square thing. Do you need to update your status that you are a douche bag?(I would “like” that!). Do you need to check your email? You needed to see the sale on computers on the CompUSA email? Put your phone down. You are not that important!
2. “Warning….”– Why do you put a warning at the beginning of your post? “Warning..long post”. “Warning…spoiler ahead”. You should just say “Warning…do not read”. Because I will not. I do not need a warning. I will decide. By the way, if you were boring before, you will be boring now. Just with more words.
3. Sarcasm– I love when people describe themselves as a “funny sarcastic person”. Here is the thing….if you are sarcastic all the time, you are an as*hole. If you make a shot here and there, it is okay, but all the time with nothing nice to say means you are truly a jerk. Someone who is not kind, but mean. If you have nothing nice to say but sarcastic comments, they that is not humor. That is low self-esteem.
Oh, BTW, if you try, you are not funny either.
4. True Blood- I get it! You love the show. I could care less. I have not watched anything with a vampire since Once Bitten with Jim Carrey. I do not care about your Twilight movies either. If I want to rent a good monster flick, I will get Gremlins.
5. Beachbody– Just so you know, if you are a member of the Beachbody cult, I am scared of you. Beachbody is a more popular religion that Scientology, headed by Tony Horton and Shawn T. I will never say anything bad about you. I do not want anything to happen to me. You all scare me. I will not sell your products! Not even Brazilian Butt Lift.
6. Writing on your tush- Ladies, I do not want to stare at your butts, but why is there writing on there like LOVE and PINK when I go to the gym. In fact, today, I read some current events while looking at a booty. I was not trying to be disrespectful, I just wanted to stay current.
7. “Healthy Snacks”- If something is “drizzled with chocolate”, why would you think it is better for you than a Snickers? It is just smaller!
8. Pandora- Seriously, I spent $40 for the year, and you can not give me unlimited skips on music? How many times can I hear Mike Posner’s “Cooler Than Me”? Thank you Slacker Radio for giving me what I want!
9. Woot!- Stop Saying it! Yes, I am talking to myself on this one.
10.Weigh in- Just because you weighed in does not mean you can eat the biggest meal afterward. I do not care if you do not have another official one in six days. maybe you should have eaten more before this weigh in.
There, ten things. Pick one, and get frustrated with me, please! Now you have a legitimate reason!
Oh, if you truly do not like me, well, you can lick my kettleballs.
I know you will read. Do you know why?
I am kind of interesting.