I remember going to my first WW meeting.

I sat in the back of the little room with my white shirt, Grey shorts, and my slip on shoes.

I was the only guy in there which was kind of intimidating.

There were about 10 other women in the room. Some young, some old. None were new there.

I just looked down.

I remember one of the women coming up to me and saying

“Hey, are you new here?”

Before I could answer, she said

“Here is a secret, try the Fruities, they are good.”

I got up and looked at the woman. I said

FRUITIES! Maam, do you know who I am?”

I am the…………….


By Phony Passdahamski

Deal-A-Meal and Dexatrim
My heart raced when I chomped a lot of Phen Phen
I do not care if I look like I will go moo
I will buy a pack or “Real” Stacker 2
When it comes to dieting, I am da masta!
I owe it all to Diet Shasta!
I know sometimes I can be obscene
But I can survive off a toothpick and a Lean Cuisine
When I was large I could not get a date
But I would lose a lot because of Chromium Picolinate
I lost and gained so much it made me sick
I begged my Mom to buy me Cybergenics
But throughout the years, I lost and gained a ton
Because of Atkins, Zone, and a sprinkle of Richard Simmons
Six small meals and a bunch of protein
Those are the secrets to staying lean
I hear it all of the time
But there is so much more to this weight loss crime
Confidence, determination, and love for yourself
Making sure you do it for your health
Getting out of this self hate hell
Maybe being on an episode of Sally Jesse Rafael
I am not saying your FRUITIES are kind of wack
But I am saying that a hug is a great zero point snack


After I rapped, she never talked to me again.

I can understand.

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