About a week ago I got a letter from a PR agency.

They were promoting a book and wanted me to read and review it.

Now before I get into this, let me add that I am done with school.

I went to high school and college.

I really do not want to read a book and then do a book report on it. I mean, have you seens my grammar. It is atrocious!

But the book was about a guy losing weight, like 50 pounds or so. And in the letter, the PR person wrote

I believe this book will be popular among your readers because of _______ honest and candid voice and ability to find humor a serious topic – it’s also really interesting to hear a man talk about this.”

A man……..writing about….weight loss. Well…that is just down right ri-donk-u-lous!

Guys do not write about weight loss. Real men do not write. In fact, real men do other things like…manly things!

Guys chop wood. Every time I think of a real man, I think of that Brawny guy. He chops wood. Yet, he also wipes up spills with his paper towels. Well, maybe his not a real man. Wait, yes he is, because the housewives swoon over him!

Guys drink beer. Like in those fanshitstic Bud Light commercials. You know, where the hip dork guys diss the hot girl. That is a guy! That really happens in real life. Except in real life those guys are called…Le Douche!

Guys watch sports. Wait, they play sports. Wait, they watch sports. They do something with a ball. I know. I have a red ball at home.

Guys have good pick up lines. Like “Hey baby…..wanna…um, do something!” Okay, how about “Ummmm, you look good in those Sassoon jeans!” Listen, back off! It has been a while since I hit on a lady.

Guys eat meat. I saw a real man take two pieces of bread and put it in between a cow. That my friend is mega meat!

Guys are funny. Well, except the time I told a knock knock joke to the UPS guy. I think he has heard it before.

But guys do not diet. Nah. We are men! Men..men..men…men!!! MEN!

We like movies like 300, Rocky, The Notebook, and Clash of the Tit…hey! Who the f*ck put in Rocky! I meant Rocky III. Clubber Lang!!!!

Men like cars. I have fuzzy dice on my Ford Fusion! I like to say it is a manly orange color!

Men smell good. After work, nothing says sex like the smell of grease and fried foods. My wife compliments me before I get in the house by saying “Take a shower!”
Men dance!

Not that ballet stuff, but real dancing. In fact, tap it where it is at!

But a man losing weight. That is crazy!

Maybe I should get the book. I did not know guys write about their weight loss journeys.



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