1. I got an email about “The Jersey Shore” workout. I have never seen the show. In fact, the last time I watched MTV, they had videos. I told my wife about it. I said I can be like “The Stimulation and Snoopy”. She laughed at me. Although she has not seen the show, she reads People magazine.

2. I did not know Ellen left American Idol. In fact, I did not know she was on the show. The last time I saw the show, Frankie Avalon beat out Tom Jones in the final.

3. I do not need to buy the Brazilian Butt Lift DVD program. I shoved a pencil in my a** and it did not come out. I am perfect!

4. I just bought diet water. I think I got ripped off.

5. The healthiest thing on Cracker Barrel’s menu is the menu.

6. I think the movie “Say Anything” is a little dated. Holding up an iPod instead of a boombox is just silly!

7. I was going to write “I wish I had footed pajamas” but when I write that, I usually get 100 links to websites that sell footed pajamas for grown men, which take the fun out of the comment “I wish I had footed pajamas”.

8. Am I the only one that likes the taste of fortune cookies? Yes….okay then.

9.My son has over 5 million toys. We could have saved a lot of money. He only plays with the trash can.

10. Guy at gym, I get it….you work out. Do you really need to carry around that gallon of water?

11. Nothing says inspiring than the magnetic sign on the side of a Buick that reads “I lost 50 pounds, ask me how!”

12. Does Bed Bath and Beyond ALWAYS send a 20% off coupon?

13. I have a giveaway as well. Fist one to comment on THIS BLOG gets nothing.

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