“Why are you eating that?”
“Didn’t you have enough?”
“Wow, that is a lot.”

My wife tells me things once in a while. Maybe I would eat a little more chicken than usual. Maybe I would eat a lot of rice.

It sometimes gets to me.

It makes me put the food down, think and say “Uhhhhhh, I lost a lot of weight!!!!!!!”

It also helps.

It was a promise she made to me over two years ago.

When I started on this journey, I made some conditions.

I told my wife I would not go out to eat for a while.
That there were certain foods we could not keep in the house.
If I did not want to work out, she would need to convince me.

I also made her promise that she would make comments to me when I eat the way I used to.

To get to be 400 pounds, it takes more than a Quarter Pounder. It is more than a box of cookies.

It takes a lot of eating and very little activity.
Two things I was very good at.

My wife tried and tried to get me to lose weight in the past.

It is something you can not make anyone do.

The individual has to do it for him/herself. The individual has to want it….want it bad.

And I did want it. After so many years, I wanted it bad.

My wife was (and still is) my biggest fan. She gave me encouragement. She helped me along the way.

During my weight loss, I started to feel guilty.
Guilty for all the years I was so heavy.
The years I could not move.
The years I did not care.

Then I realized that I have a long life ahead of me. I will always need to remember the past, but focus more on the future. The future. For so many years I did not even think there was a future.

I get a lot of emails from spouses asking me how to get their husbands/wives to lose weight.

Here is what no one will tell you.

There is nothing you are going to do to make someone lose weight. It sounds cruel and mean, but it is true. You can threaten, yell, cry and pray, but you can not make someone lose weight.

But you can support. You can be a fan. You can help once the decision is made.

There is nothing my wife said to make me lose weight in February of 2008. But…..

Her being there for me had helped along the way.

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