It happened today…….

There I was on the Arctrainer.

The same machine I have been using for over a year. Working out hard, sweating like crazy.

Every morning I watch infomercials on the little TV at the gym. I usually watch P90X or Insanity.

Today I saw an infomercial for a product called Sensa.

I am not going to get into the product. It just looks stupid. Some sort of powder you put on your food. I was watching it, seeing MD’s talk about it and how it was “Seen on NBC”. We all have seen stuff like that, laughable.

But all of the sudden, I saw something else on the infomercial. It said

“Has this ever happened to you?”

They showed three examples……

A woman fighting to put on jeans
A woman eating a frozen dinner in shame with her family
A woman crying because she tried to use a blender without a top

I saw it and I felt a rush. My mind went blank for a second. I was still working out, but visions went through my head.

I thought about WW. How they loved me when I needed to lose the weight, but ignored me when I got confident.
I thought about AOL. How they loved doing a story about me until I voiced my opinion on how I felt they blasted Jared Fogle.
I thought about the emails I get from companies. How they love my blog…….until I do not push their “weight loss” product.
I thought about every BeachBody coach who wants me to join their team although every blog post is about how I am not a fan of P90X.

Then I heard a voice through my headset. It interrupted Hall and Oates “I Can’t Go For That”. It said…

“That is how they see you. The woman with the blender.”

I am not an idiot!

We are expected to fail. We are expected to be the weak ones. The overweight people that can do this journey for a little while. The ones who will lose weight…but will not keep it off. The ones that worry about the loose skin before we lose weight, the ones that worry about what our friends lost. Why we can not?

We are the whiners. The ones that people laugh at when we order a salad. The ones that sweat in air conditioning. The weak ones. The poor souls.

I am not that. We are not that.

The problem is that corporate “weight loss” America loves when we fail. They put their hand out. WW understands it is okay to struggle. Jenny Craig knows how we feel. Nutrisystem will deliver the food to our house, they know that it is hard to go out.

Beachbody knows how hard it is to join a gym. The trainers at my gym always talked to me when I was 400 pounds.

“Yo man, need a BMI test?”
“Dude, I will give you a couple sessions for free”

I was never rude to them, yet they do not talk to me anymore.

People want us to fail.

It is OK. Sensa can help.

My mind was everywhere. Yet, I was still pushing the machine, not stopping.

I got home and went on Facebook.

The first thing I saw was a girl who was excited about the Biggest Loser auditions. Needing Jillian to yell at her.

She was embarrassed when she was 175 pounds. I was three when I was 175 pounds.

Then I went to Roni’s blog, and I read her words over and over again….

“You may have to do it alone, as theAntiJared recently pointed out, BUT we can all be here to celebrate and encourage you along the way. “

Do it alone. Do it alone.

I did do it alone, but you do not have to.

On July 4th, I am going to do something different on my blog. Something most of you will enjoy. Something that will help out people.

This week I am going to post things I have never posted before. The joy of losing the weight, the fear of not using a scale after. WW and how they wanted me to change, building muscle, and meeting the man who lost 300 pounds.

The man I did not want to become.

You will hear about fruits and vegetables. You will hear about coffee, water. About the sadness of bloggers leaving and the joys of them coming back.

My comments will be off.

I have Facebook and Twitter for you to comment.

I would love for you to voice your opinions there. Where I can comment back.

I also have an email, talk to me.

I love the social networks. I can comment for all to see.

Stages of Change, you wrote a great post about how people can change. How I did not believe that was possible. I was wrong, people can change.

They just have to want it.

Welcome to The Anti-Jared.

Welcome to my day 1

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