There is a guy at my work who I call “Pants On The Ground”.
Believe it or not, but I do not call him this because he was on American Idol.
No, I call him this because he wears his pants on the ground.
Every time I see him I do this dance and sing “Pants On The Ground!”
He is actually a very good worker and a nice kid.
Every time he works, we always chat….
We talk about music:
“Yo, you like T-Pain?”
“Hmmmm, is he in Journey?”
We talk about video games:
“You got heavy Rain for PS3?”
“Um, do you have Sonic for the Genesis?”
We even talk about blogging:
“I love to blog. Do you blog?”
“Hell yeah! Every weekend..but you should not talk about that here, the po–po might be around!”
The one thing we truly do have in common is that we are both married with children.
Except he calls his wife “His baby’s mama.”
For some reason, I always thought a baby mama was not a wife.
So I asked him one day:
“I am confused? I have heard the term baby mama but why don’t you call your wife your wife. I mean, it makes no sense.”
“You just do not understand old man.”
That bothered me a little.
I am a mid 30’s man who is getting old.
I used to think that I was always so hip but I am getting out of touch. Whatever happened to Eazy-E and FILA shoes and …..well, I was never hip.
When I came home I called an emergency family meeting:
“First off, thank you all for coming to this meeting. As you are all aware I am getting old and out of touch. It is very important to me to become hip again with the kids. I am trying to promote my blog and Facebook Page as much as possible, yet I feel like I am missing a huge part of the weight loss community, the youngsters….”
“What are you talking about?”
“Rebecca, please, you will have a moment to talk. Anyway, as I was saying, I have developed new hip nicknames for us so that we can appeal to the youth. I am now Big Poppa. Baby, you will be called Shorty. Pup, you will be known as Lil B, and hon, I will refer to you as baby ma…..”
My wife interrupted me right before I was about to give the cool affectionate names to my two Siamese cats to tell me I was a jackass and I wasted her time…
The truth is I have been with my wife for over nine years now I love her very much.
I am not the kind of guy who will buy flowers or be romantic, but I know how to make her laugh.
It is a good thing I make her laugh, because eating cauliflower and wearing hoodies can be annoying!
By the way, this story is not true.
I mean, I am not a blogger, I told you all that!