I have mentioned this a few times, but I still do not get the whole weight loss blogging thing.
There is a blogger I follow who calls her friends “Hookers”. She always says she went out with her “Hookers” and she tweets about her “Hookers”
There is another blogger I follow who calls all of her friends “Bi-atch-es”. She always asks how her “bi-atch-es” are doing and asks where her “bi-atch-es” are?
I asked both of them why they use such vulgar names to talk about their friends. They both explained to me that those are terms of endearment. They just have nicknames for their friends.
Well, if it works for bloggers I look up to, it has got to work for me!!
So earlier today I came home.
The baby was sleeping, the dog was chilling and my wife was doing a little work.
She was not feeling well.
I was in a good mood. I decided to take some advice from my blogging friends.
So I threw down my bag and yelled:
“What up whores and bitches!!!!!”
Well, since I am in a time out at Starbucks I thought there would be no better time that to talk about Starbucks and how I enjoy a good ol’ cup of joe.
Believe it or not, but I did not have my first cup until Thanksgiving of 2008.
I drink a cup or two a day. I never put cream in my coffee. I just put a couple of Splenda packets in it.
I live near a Starbucks and I go there once or twice a week. Most of the time I drink my coffee from my super cool Keurig machine. My mother in law has helped me get the most awesome coffee collection. I think I have close to 190 coffee K-Cups.
Every time I go to Starbucks, it seems like I see smart people. The girls behind the counter look smart, and I see powerful men and women on their Blackberry phones ordering crazy triple mocha kinda drinkas.
I am boring. I get coffee. I am not one of those “Do not talk to me until I have coffee” kind of people. I am one of those “Do not talk to me” kind of people.
Yet, every time I go to Starbucks, it takes just as long to get a regular coffee as it would to get a specialty drink. it makes no sense.
Why do I need to pay for Wi–Fi here? I already spend $80 on a coffee. Throw me a bone.
All coffee places should have a drive thru. It makes more sense. I hate waiting inside.
Anyway, I do enjoy coffee. I am sure you do as well. I know about the caffeine, but hey, it is my one vice.
Well, I am going to end this short. I am going home to apologize to my wife.
But I am not going to apologize to my dog. Bitch is a female dog and she is a female dog. She will have to understand.