I remember asking the doctor before I started my journey about the new pill Alli.

I remember seeing a commercial about it that it was FDA approved and if it was worth trying*.

*Also, keep in mind that I am a dieter for life. All dieters love diet pills. We know they do not work but for some reason, we think the more expensive the pill is the better it will work. Well, at least I do.

Anyway, my doctor did not know that much about the pill.

The only thing he said was “Make sure you follow the directions because I did hear you can have a oily discharge. I have heard that it would be better to wear a darker color of pants.”

“Oily discharge? Do you mean pooping your pants?”

Ummmm, yeah.”

This scared me.

Not because of pooping my pants.

It scared me because I could not ruin my George Foreman size 60 pants from The Casual Male XL.

Ahhh, the Casual Male. Where a 400 pound man can feel like a king. Kind of name brand clothes made for me. Reebok knew that a 5xl pair of sweatpants would fit me just right!

When you are obese, you can not just go to Kohl’s to buy clothes. You can not run into K-Mart, throw twenty bucks in at the cashier and say “Pair of Timbercreeks please!”

No, you had to get “special” pants. Everything had to be “special”.

Believe it or not,60×29 pants were not easy to come by.

Yet, I had two pairs. They were George Foreman. Yep, the great boxer who designed the fat reducing cooker. These pants were gems to me. I could not ruin them. To get a new pair was a huge pain.

Looking back, I hated those pants.

Yet, it was all that would fit.

They had”secret” extenders built in them. My waist was already five feet wide, did I really need the extenders?

Well, yes.

So the first month of my journey I did buy a 30 day supply of Alli. I never felt any effect from it.

Just the fear of ruining a pair of pants.

I did lose weight while on Alli.

Not because of the pill, but because of ruining a pair of pants.

After that 30 day supply, I did not purchase it again. I just made myself believe that if I ate a lot of fat, I would poop my pants.

I also realized that pills do not work. Fear of DooDoo Brown coming to a pair of Wranglers near you does.

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