The Brotherhood Of The Traveling Underpants
By Tony Posnanski

I have never been a fan of bumper stickers. Well, that is until I saw the one that changed my life a couple of years ago….

In 2008, while driving behind a Ford Escort I saw the most intriguing bumper sticker I have ever seen. It read:

“Lose weight. Ask me how!”

At 420 pounds I did want to lose weight. but how?

So for 12 miles I followed this car until it pulled into a Target parking lot.

Semi-quickly, I walked over to the driver, who was a beautiful woman.

“Please, I need to lose weight. How? How?”

She handed me a “Free 6 inch sub” coupon for Subway and drove off.

Although annoyed that I did not have the answer, I was delighted to get free food.

I went to Subway and presented my coupon. before I could order, the guy behind the counter handed me a package and said

“We have been expecting you.”

How did they know what I was going to order?

Well, at 420 pounds I would have eaten anything, so they definitely made an educated guess, which was any guess.

When I got home, instead of a sub in my bag, I saw a gigantic pair of underpants with a note:

To whom it may concern (Aka porky),

I welcome you on your weight loss journey. Believe it or not, these were once my underpants. Yes, you can see from the stains that they were mine. I will tell you that these underpants will help you in your journey. When you are in doubt, when you want to give up, when you have a craving for chocolate, put these underpants on. They are magical! Once you are done, give them to someone else to help them lose weight.

Sincerely,

Jared

At the beginning of my diet, I was doing great. Yet I was very nervous.

Nervous I was going to gain my weight back, nervous that I would become a statistic.

Yet, I had those stained magical pair of undies in my room. The pair from Jared, my weight loss God!

One day, I was going to blow it!

I wanted to eat so much.

While contemplating going to a Chinese buffet, I knew I had to put on the underpants.

Once I put them on, something weird happened. All of my cravings went away. I only wanted to eat fruits and vegetables. I wanted to go to the gym. I wanted to lose weight.

At first I thought it was because I was disgusted wearing some one else’s underpants, but then I realized these were magical!

Well, I used those during my journey.

221 pounds lost and muscle gained!

After maintaining for some time, I decided to give back those magical underpants to help out another dieter.

I went to the Subway and was excited to see the same guy behind the counter two years later.

“Hey, you really helped me. Thank you for underpants.Now we need to help someone else.” I said.

The guy behind the counter looked at me and said:

“We get everyone with that joke. Those underpants were fresh off of Sid.” as he points to a 400 pound guy mopping the floor.

Well, it worked for me.

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