Today when I woke up my wife looked at me and said:

“I want to bake cookies!”

I guess right before I woke up, there was some Tollhouse cookie commercial on Lifetime where a mother and daughter were baking cookies together.

That commercial inspired my wife to do the same.

Stupid Lifetime!

Although I eat “healthy”, I do not expect everyone around me to do the same. That is foolish to think that way.

My wife does not have an eating problem, I do.
She leaves food on her plate, I do not.
She can have a few bites of something and walk away,I can not.

I know this. That is why I am not tempted with cookies. I know the end result.

Yet it was kind of annoying that she wanted to bake cookies. There is nothing in our house to bake cookies. Well, I do have eggs and salt. That is it.

And I do not think she wanted a cookie with squash, apples and broccoli.

I told my wife we had nothing to make cookies which she fired back:

“No problem, just go after the gym.”

My weakness! My wife knows that I will pick up anything after the gym. She could ask for a bear, and I would be in the woods after the gym looking for a bear!

So I went to the grocery store to buy ingredients for the classic Tollhouse cookies.

I got vanilla, butter, sugar, flour, baking soda, etc. It always makes me feel good to spend $30 on a couple dozen cookies!

BTW, I did request just buying the pre-made dough which got me a real quick “That is not the same” reply!

When I was checking out, the cashier was looking at my ingredients.

She was around 19 years old and clearly did not want to be there on a Sunday morning.She was yawning, which was annoying. I mean, you are at work, fake it a little!

Yet, she tried to fake her smile.

She looked at me and said with a serious face:

“Are you baking cookies?”

Am I baking cookies? Which part of every single ingredient gave it away?

She did not say “Cool, you are making cookies” or “Wow, I love cookies”, no she clearly asked if I was making cookies.

Although I was made fun of at 400 pounds, I learned very quickly to give it back. You kind of have to be.

I am good at quick comebacks. Incredibly good.

Here is what I wanted to say:

“No, I am building a house. All I need is a screwdriver!”
“What is a cookie?”
“No, my wife and I are trying to have a baby.”
“Nope, getting ready for Halloween!”
“Chocolate Chips? Shoot, I meant to get potato chips!”
“No, I have a cold!”
“Trying a new diet!”
“Cookie? Do you know the street value of All-Purpose Flour?”
“Are you a detective?”

Yet, I looked at her, and said in a nice way:

“Yes I am. Yum!!!!”

She smiled, my wife was happy, and I realized that a snotty comment was not worth ruining a Sunday.

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