Jill Herbastein
By Tony Posnanski

When I was a kid, I was incredibly active.

I would run around in army attire, do push ups, and point at people and say

“Hey you, yeah you, you ready to lose weight.”

I used to have a real good friend named Jill Herbastein. She was the total opposite of me which worked out well.

She was not fat, but kind of chunky. She dressed weird and she was never motivated to do anything.

“Hey Jill, you want to go run a mile?”
“Nah Tony, I will just sit under this tree.”
“Hey Jill, you want to eat an apple?”
“Nah Tony, I will just eat this Snickers bar.”
“Hey Jill, do you want to dance?”
“Nah Tony, I will just watch a video.”

Although uninspired, we got along real well.

My family loved her and her family loved me. We were best friends!

One day, while in my tree house, she asked me a question.

“Tony, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

“Jill, can I trust you?”

“Tony, we are best friends, of course you can.”

I was so excited to tell her. At 11 years old, I have been thinking about this for a while

“Okay Jill. Here it goes. You know how I work out a lot. Well, I want to inspire others. I want to help people lose weight. I will become a trainer. Then I will train famous people, like Punky Brewster and Mr. Belvedere. Once I do that, then I will make workout videos! See Jill, most videos are an hour long. I am going to make a program that is 30 days long. I will call it “The 30 Day Shred” Then I will make workout products and people will look at me like an inspiration! I might even be on a television show where people can lose weight, like Alf!”

Funny thing is Jill did not talk. She was just writing in her Trapper Keeper*.

* They still make Trapper Keepers! Nothing is cooler than a Trapper Keeper! It is like a Snuggie, you can make fun of it all day, yet everyone wants one. I would love to go to a power board meeting with one!

“Cool Tony, well I got to go home now.”

“Hey, no fair! What do you want to be when you grow up?”

She thought for a minute and said:

Hmmm, I love Poison. I would love to marry Brett Michaels! He is rad.”

I never spoke to Jill again, and was quite upset when I realized that Jill Herbastein changed to Jillian Michaels.

She stole every idea I had!

Once I found out, I lost all ambition for working out and dieting. I ate a Honda Civic and ballooned up to 420 pounds.

It was not until my wife said “I think you are eating a lot of food, just saying!” that I decided to lose my weight.

I have been working hard at keeping my weight off.

200 pounds lost had been hard.

Yet, it would have never happened if it were not for Jill Herbastein

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