I am a pretty hard worker. I always have been, even when I was overweight.
After a 12-14 hour day of asking guests how their Quesadillas were, my wife says the same thing to me every time I walk through the door:
“You smell like work.”
Now, she appreciates my work ethic. She knows I take pride in what I do.
She is not fond of me smelling like a restaurant when I come home.
I think it might be time to start looking for a sexier job. I mean, I have lost weight and put on some muscle. Plus, I want my wife to say this to me when I come home:
“You….smell like….WORK (wink)!” (Hence the wink)
So here are some options for my new sexier job:
1. I could work construction. I would only work during lunchtime downtown with a jack hammer. I would go to work with a white tank top and while the ladies would be on lunch break, they would whistle at me.
2. I could work as a Chippendale stripper.
Nothing says sexy like no shirt and a bow tie.
I would be able to do C and C Music Factory some justice with my running man
Baby formula is very expensive
It is not 1989
3. I could work as a UPS driver. I would hate to drive the truck. I would just go into offices and go directly to the secretary and say:
“Hey Doris :)! I have this package, can you sign for it.”
4. I could deliver the water for water coolers. The women always swoon over them. Plus, I could carry two at a time.
5. I could be in a boy band. Just like NKOTB! I am kind of like Donny, tough yet lovable!
6. I could be a lumberjack. Just like Brawny!
Well maybe not. I mean, there is not many people who can go to a table and say:
“I hope your cheese fries are cheese-a-riffic!”
I guess I will always smell like work.