To my wife Rebecca,

The other day I received an e-mail from someone who follows my blog. She was very concerned about her husband’s weight and wanted some advice from me on what she could do.

I know the answer, yet I never answer those e-mails. Every time someone asks me for help for someone they love I am at a loss for words, even though so many come to the tip of my tongue.

So if at all possible, I want to ask you a few questions. Questions that I have never asked you, but wondered.

How many times have you cried over my weight?
How many times did you want to tell me I was being selfish?
Did you cringe when I would tell you I would start a diet “tomorrow” only to make you happy for the moment?
Did you pray I would go to the gym since I had a membership for over two years yet did not ever go?
How did you feel watching me overeat?
Were you afraid I would die of a heart attack?
Did you know how big my pants were?
Were you scared I drove without a seat belt because it did not fit around me?
Did you know I would eventually have the strength to lose over 200 pounds?
Did you ever think of a life without me?
Do you really think you could have ever said anything to me to convince me to lose weight?

On second thought, I know the answers to these questions.

There is nothing you really could have said or done to help me lose weight. I woke up, realized how selfish I was, and changed my life. I had to do it. Although you are my inspiration, I needed to find myself to make the life change. This is something all “weight loss” persons need to do.

It sounds simply complicated.

Rebecca, I see so many people being self destructive in their lives. Whether it is with food, drugs, etc. I was that way with food for so long. I promise to live a healthy life, for you and the baby. I promise to be around for a long time.

And God forbid something ever happened to me, just know that I will have the energy to walk up the stairs to heaven, and not have to wait for the elevator.

Your loving husband,


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