“Let’s go out to eat tonight. Come on, we never go out!”
I was always asked that question by my wife.
At 400 pounds, we would be at home and my wife wanted to go grab a bite to eat.
She wanted to spend some time with me as well because I worked a lot.
I never wanted to go out to eat.
Here is the response I told her100% of the time:
“Rebecca, I do not want to go out to eat. I work in a restaurant, the last thing I want to do is spend MORE time in a restaurant.”
Here would have been the more truthful answer:
” I do not want to embarrass us when I can not fit into the booth.”
My weight gain really came up on me fast. At first I would wear size 40 waist pants, then 42, then 58 etc.
My seat belt in my car would get tighter and tighter until I could not buckle it anymore.
It would get harder and harder to bend down until I could not tie my shoes.
Not being able to fit into a restaurant booth was no different.
When I was around 300 pounds, I could maneuver the booth so I could fit. I would of course give my wife no room, and I would have a lot of room, yet my gut would still hang on the table.
Although uncomfortable, I felt good that I could sit at a booth. I was not a “table guy” as of yet.
Around 350, the booth dream was over. There was no booth I could sit at. No pushing the table back, nothing. It was rough!
I remember once going out to eat with my family, and the host at the restaurant asked
“Ummm, would you like a booth or a table?”
I quickly said table, although I knew that everyone in my family wanted a booth.
Heck, everyone loves booths!
I felt like I let down the team!
My old boss would always sit at a booth on purpose. He knew I would not fit, and he liked it when I pulled up a chair to the booth, making a 400 pound guy look more awkward, if that were possible.
By the way, he was not the nicest guy in the world.
Once I started to lose the weight this time, I was excited to sit in a booth again.
In fact, I was excited about tying my shoe, putting on a seat belt, and sitting on an airplane.
Now I can accomplish all of those items. I feel like the life that was stripped away from me for so long is back. It is a great feeling.
This journey has never been about wearing smaller clothes, or looking better, or even about being an inspiration.
No, it was about getting my dignity back
Once I sat in the booth, dignity sat on the other side, smiling at me