It was exactly a year ago today, February 25th, 2008.
I was standing in my kitchen at 8am. I was angry!
At 420 pounds, my life was in shambles. I had many health issues. I was on 4 different medications for my heart and cholesterol, and did not take any!
How selfish is that!
I was considered “the fat guy who was always in the office” at work.I was documented twice for being “lazy”.
I also was told by my doctor that I needed to get surgery, or I would die!
I was angry with myself. How did I let my life go?
I remember talking to God in my kitchen that day. I am not religious by any stretch of the imagination, but I needed help. I remember asking him why I was so weak? Why couldn’t I control my eating? Why do I live the way I do?
Not wanting surgery, I decided to go on this journey on my own. I have lost weight in the past.
I could do it again, right?
I joined Weight Watchers. I started to count my points, and lowered my food intake. I was losing a good amount of weight.
Then…it hit me!
I was at work when I was talking to an employee. She was eating a snack, and she said “Uhhh, I am full!” and threw away half of her snack.
At that moment, I came to some realizations about myself!
I am a food addict. I do not love food, nor have I ever! But I eat a lot. I have gotten better with my portions, but how long would that last. I was already over 400 pounds. If I fail now, would I get to be 500 pounds? Being a food addict does not go away in time, it is there for the rest of your life! I needed to deal with it!
I never understood the meaning of “being full”. People say that they learn senses of being full, and I am getting better, but it is hard!
I also learned that I was scared. Scared that I would fail again. Scared that I would die!
I have always said that fear brings out the best in people. It FINALLY brought the best out in me!
So I made the hardest decision I ever have. I changed my life!
I decided to only drink water, and a occasional coffee. I decided to only eat certain types of food (fruit, vegetables, lean meats, etc.). I decided to work out.
I also decided that every one of these decisions would be for the rest of my life! I can not diet anymore. I have to change.
Since that time, my life has changed. Changed for the better.
While it changed, I realized more and more that life is more than chocolate or Chinese food.
It is about living. It is about my wife, baby on the way, parents, and myself. I can not forget about myself!
I deserve a healthy life!
It is a lot of work. It is not easy at all. My life does not work for everyone. That is why I have such a hard time giving advice. I am such an extreme case. I knew I had to make it work!
So today marks a year that I have made a life change. I stood in the same kitchen at 8am, but I did not talk to God today.
No, he knows how thankful I am!