If someone came up to you every day, and told you they were going to punch you in the face, but never did, you would finally look at that person and say:

“Just punch me in my face already!!!!”

That is how I felt when I was over 400 pounds.

I would wake up every day, thinking it was my last. It sounds silly, but it is true. Unless you have been that weight, it is so hard to imagine.
At 5 foot 6, and 420.2 pounds, every day seemed like it was my last.

I would feel a pain in my chest, and think I was going to die of a heart attack.

I would feel numbness in my arms, and think I would die.

I remember squeezing into my car, and thinking if I got in a car accident, I would not be able to get out.

I remember being at work, and wondering how I would get out quickly if there was a fire.

People are motivated by a lot of things. Money, power, success, failure……..

I am motivated by fear

Fear is a powerful thing. It makes people work hard, and do things they never thought they could. Fear will eat at you, and will make you think twice about doing something.

Fear can also be your best friend.

When I started on this journey eleven months ago, I have never lost weight for fear. I have always been 80-120 pounds overweight, and would lose 20 pounds here or there just to gain back more. I lost weight to fit into clothing, or look better. I never looked at it as death.

At 420.2 pounds, I have not done a “diet” in over eight years. I was scared.

When I first started doing it, I controlled portions. It worked out well. In fact, I was losing a good amount of weight. Then I realized something:

Can I do this for the rest of my life?

Then I switched my foods while controlling portions. I cut out processed foods (Except Fiber One) and ate fruits , vegetables and lean meats primarily. I have never done this before. Again I asked a question:

Can I do this for the rest of my life?

Then I added fitness to my life. I made working out a priority. I would wake up at 3am sometimes just to make sure I got in 65 minutes on a machine. Again:

Can I do this for the rest of my life?

I think about it every day. Losing weight is not easy, for anyone!

Then I look at my wife, and I see how happy she is with my weight loss. How happy she is that my heart rate is in line, and my cholesterol is 112, and she can hug me, and that I will be around for a bit.
I look at my wife’s belly/future baby, and realize that would not have happened if I was over 400 pounds. How can I take care of a baby at 400 pounds?
I look at people who have not seen me for a while, and pull me aside, and tell me how much they have prayed that I lose weight.
I look at the majority of people who visit my blog, and take bits and pieces from my story. True, 99% of people are not going to be as extreme as me, but then again 99% of people do not need to be as extreme as me. Wearing a size 60 pants is extreme!
Truthfully, I have no option but to live the way I do. If I do not, I have the chance of being over 500 pounds. It is not a question of if I slip up, it is a statement of I can not slip up. I have too much to lose.
Than I realize that I am happy with my option because I do not really have another one.

Life is not peaches and cream! With the economy and job market in turmoil, people ask me why are you always so happy.

I am happy because I am living to see the economy and job market in turmoil!

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