The day after Christmas! Another day of sales. I would like to know how many door busters we are going to have in December. Also, how many times is Kohl’s going to have “the lowest prices of the year”? Actually, I am just happy I can shop for clothing at a normal store, so I will not complain!
Today was a little slow at the restaurant, so I left at a normal hour today. I was happy to do it, yet sad that it wasn’t crazy busy like it has been all month long. So when I got home, I started to catch up on some emails.
Let me also add a huge thank you to everyone who has been reading and commenting on my blog! In my wildest dreams, I would never have guessed that 94 people would be following me. Not only that, but I had over 40 comments on two blog posts. I wish you knew how great that made me feel. I was smiling all week long!
I started to read my emails, and they were great. Some thanked me for inspiring them, and some were just about how much they liked my blog. Wow, it is so weird to think that people really read what I write.
Then I got to one email that….well…I did not know what to make of it. I was going to post it on here, but instead decided not to. It hit home way too hard!
It was about a guy who was overweight, very similar to me in the past. He was talking about how he has struggled with weight for a while, and how he was not able to do daily functions…just like I was not able to.
He also wrote about how he did not want to micromanage the way he ate because he would fail if he had to write down everything, or count points. He also did not work out, and knew the answers, but was looking for more answers.
The email made me cry…..because it was where I was 10 months ago. In fact, it is where I was the last 32 years of my life! I was the guy that wanted to do anything to lose weight, yet I would not put forward any effort. Counting points!!! Ha, not for me!
I was the one who talked about walking, and changing my life, yet I was still going to the drive-thru at McDonald’s for dollar menu double cheeseburgers, lots of them.
It put me back in a place where I felt helpless, like I could not control my life. I wanted to be skinny, yet did not want to put forth the effort.I had answers, yet failed! It was a miserable place to be.
I wanted to write back to him, but I couldn’t do it. I want to help him so bad! Yet, I feel like no matter what I would write, it would go in one ear and out another!
I would rather talk about it here, because it helps me deal with my food addiction!
I wanted to tell him how selfish he was to his family, and how he is a food addict, and how hard it is at first to change your life, and yes, you will have to manage your food for the rest of your life! Weighing your food is better than dying of a heart attack!
Yet, I couldn’t do it. Because at the end of the email, I was not mad at the person. Not in the least!
I was mad at myself!
This is a reoccurring theme for me. I have blogged about it in the past. Losing 200 pounds is very new to me. It was not easy, it took serious work. Very serious work! It still takes serious work! I was 420 pounds in 2008! Yes, in January, I was wearing size 60 pants!
Don’t get me wrong, I am so proud of myself. I am not only happy that I have lost the weight, or the health factors, but I am happy that I have inspired others! It is something that is new and wonderful to me. I want to be able to inspire people for a long time. I love to hear about people losing 10 pounds because they read my blog, or not eating a doughnut because they read my blog. It makes me feel wonderful! Blogging is something that is so dear to me now. Writing has never been something I have been a fan of!
The email hit home to me, because I felt no matter what I wrote back to him, it would not hit home to him yet. I know, because I am the same way!
Remember, I am still a food addict, and I deal with it every minute of the day!