Ahhhh, Halloween is here!! You know what that means. Kids dressed as princesses and pirates. Guys dressed as Bill Clinton and the Captain Morgan Man. Women dressed as a “naughty” (fill in the blank).

One year at my restaurant, a girl asked if she could dress as a baseball player. Of course I said no problem. Now, I did not know she would be a “naughty” baseball player, so we kind of banned dressing up at work for years to come.

Anyway, Halloween is also the time for scary stories. We all have them! And they are about how much candy we have eaten. Every year, we all do the same thing:

1. We have kids, and pick through their candy. We tell the kids “Okay, I will take the Twix and Reese’s Cups, and you can have the Spree.” 10,000 calories later, we wished we had the Spree.

2. We buy a ton of candy, and three kids come to the house. But don’t worry, we have a brilliant plan that the candy will come to work the next day with us. The next day is so far away. 10,000 calories later, we wished we had the Spree.

It happens! And it probably will happen this year. So to make you feel better, I am going to scare you by telling you the five worst meals I have ever had. Put the kids to bed, it is going to get scary!

#5- To-Go Chinese, 6 pounds of food!– That is right. I went to a Chinese buffet, and I did not want people to see me eat, so I got it to-go. I ended up with 6 pounds of food, and I finished it in one hour. It cost me $26.53. I remember exactly because it was $4.40 a pound, or around there. And no, it was not all vegetables.

#4- Deep Fried NY Strip– When I worked at Chili’s, I learned a valuable lesson for a overweight person. The lesson is stay away from the tempura batter. The tempura batter is the batter for the famous “Chicken Crispers”. I found out that if you dip anything in it, and deep fry it, it comes out delicious. So, I took a 12oz steak, and deep fried it. It was good at the time.

#3- The “Apple Ranch Chicken Burger”– Before I talk about this, I have something to admit which I did not want to in this blog. For about two years, I lived in Buffalo, NY:

If you have not lived or been to Buffalo, I will save you a lot of money and time. Put mud on your face, go into a freezer, lock the door, turn off the lights, and cry. There you go, it’s Buffalo!!

Anyway, I worked at Applebee’s in Buffalo,and this was before they had a WW menu.I invented a new snack there. I took a 1/2 pound burger, and combined it with a fried chicken breast. Then I basted it with BBQ sauce and wing sauce, and put it on a egg bun. Pretty tasty.

#2- Deep Fried Pizza– Maybe I would not have been so heavy if I did not meet a fryer. So one day, I made a pizza, folded and sealed it, and before I baked it, I put it in the deep fryer. It came out real tasty.

#1- 17 Michelina frozen dinners– I was so hungry, I would microwave two while I ate two. I finished 17 of them. I did not feel good afterwards.

So there you go. When you eat a little more than you should, remember one thing. It is not as bad as the food I created.

Drop a comment as well, and tell me the worst thing you ever ate. I am dying to see.

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