Every time I look at this picture, it makes me angry and sad. It was taken in 2006, when I was at the peak of my heaviness. My wife and I went to Disney world, the happiest place on earth, and it was so miserable for me. First off, it was tough for me to walk around the park. My back always hurt, and I had to sit down a lot. My wife was understanding, but it didn’t matter to me, I felt like I was letting down the team. I couldn’t fit on a lot of the rides. Again, my wife understood. We slept in separate beds because I couldn’t fit in a king size. We couldn’t sit in a booth at a restaurant. I sweat a lot. It was not a vacation, it was torture.
Yet, through it all, my wife understood. I met her in 2000, and she saw me when I just completed a crash diet. I was about 240 at the time, but I hid it well. I think i lost 65 pounds, I was 305 before. We would always go out to dinner, and spent so much time together. It sounds silly, but I knew she would be the woman I would spend the rest of my life with. We met in Charlotte, moved to Buffalo, and then to Orlando, which we call home.
During our 8 years together, I gained an enormous amount of weight, about 180 pounds to be more exact. That usually happens after you do crash diets, and boy have I done them. To me, a crash diet is changing the way you eat just for a short time to get your goal. And I would never have a hard time hitting a goal, because I always knew I lost weight fast.
But when I was around the 350-420 range, my life was a struggle, which I have talked about before. I wasn’t lazy, but always tired, I put things off because I did not have the energy to do them. Work was tough, even though I was always a good manager. I was so miserable, yet I did nothing about it.
My wife was miserable as well, but she did not talk to me about it that much. I feel she lived every day as it would be my last, and who could blame her. The doctor put me on 5 medications for my heart and blood pressure, yet I did not take them every day. I was a true walking time bomb.
We would start to argue about my weight towards the end, but as a selfish person does, I would always be on the defensive. I never was able to see her point. Why did she care what I did with my life, I mean, I can eat what I want!
And that is where I changed in February of this year, which was the 18th anniversary of my first “diet”. I changed everything in my life, my eating habits, my workout habits, and my perspective on life. I learned to love foods that I never ate before, like raw fruits and vegetables. I learned to love fiber, and eat 35g every day. This time is different than the past times, because I really changed from the outside in.
But I also learned that I am doing this for my family. I want to live a long time with my wife, and I can not and will not sacrifice that ever again!
I love to read blogs on here, because I think every person is unique and has a great story to tell. I read a lot about people struggling every day with their own weight loss, and people always ask me what do I struggle with?
After living the last 32 years overweight, sluggish, selfish and unhappy, hasn’t my family and I struggled enough?

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